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I've Gotta Feeling This Song's Gonna Make Me Kill Myself

A tragedy befell me.

My IPOD broke.

Granted, this was two years ago, and I still haven't had it fixed.

Part of the reason for that is money, but another part was that I assumed I could last on radio for a little while. Maybe I would even stay current with the latest songs.

Ohhh, how current I stayed, my friends.

I think there should be a word for how you feel when you turn on the radio three times in one day and every single time "I've Gotta Feeling" is on.

"Rage-filled" just isn't cutting it for me anymore.

To be honest, I thought the song was all right the first time I heard it. It's a fun, on-the-way-to-a-party Friday night song. It's not really a driving in the car to work on a Monday morning song while the woman in front of you goes five miles under the speed limit and you're running late.

"REALLY, BLACK EYED PEAS? YOU THINK MONDAY'S JUST GONNA BE A GREAT NIGHT, HUH?"

Still, I've heard worse (Thank God "You're Beautiful" has finally been relegated to light rock stations.)

"I've Gotta Feeling" is about to tie Lady Gaga's "Pokerface" for the most weeks at Number One for 2009. It'll probably surpass her, and play the night Four Horsemen arrive as they're carting us all off to the Underworld.

So what to do about this?

Here's my idea.

One, people need to stop putting "I've gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night" in their Facebook statuses. I'm pretty sure when someone writes a song like this, they're specifically targeting Facebook statuses. It's like how the Pussy Cat Dolls always write their songs with slutty girls in mind.

(Have you heard their latest--"Blowjobs Make You Popular?")

Two, remember when TRL would retire videos? 65 plays and then you were gone. It allowed you enough time to hear a song, get sick of it, and be done with it. It didn't exactly keep the top ten fresh, but you also didn't tune into the show after eight months and see the same videos playing.

Why can't we do that on radio? Six weeks and then you're gone. Imagine how much new music could get played--with a six-week termination period, after a year even Taylor Swift would run out of songs.

(Quiet, Kanyegate is passe. It's back to hating Taylor time.)

Third, acknowledge that some songs are meant for the club, and some are meant for radio. Why you would ever play "Hotel Room" at 11am on a Sunday is astounding to me. It's the day of the Lord, after all.

(The Lord being Ryan Seacrest and the American Top Forty.)

I think if we followed these rules, radio would improve considerably.

But hey, it's just a feelin'.

(Sorry, I had to do it.)

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