Where the Wild Rights Are: A Story of Audacity and Hope...and Then Disappointment

Okay, so I’ve been producing theater

For twelve years now

And this is the weirdest thing

That has ever happened to me

In terms of getting the rights

To something

And weird stuff happens

When trying to get rights

All the time

Here’s what went down:

Every so often

There’s a book or movie

That I like

And I think to myself—

I wonder if there’s a play of that

And if you produce theater

Particularly theaters

That put on full seasons

I strongly suggest

Thinking this way

Instead of just looking through lists of plays

Because what you find out pretty quickly is—

There are play versions of nearly everything

That’s not to say all of them are good adaptations

But usually

They exist

Just Google titles you like

And usually
You’ll find what you’re looking for

So I was looking for a play to do this summer

And there’s this book

This older, sort of classic

Book

That I thought would work really well

For a summer season

Okay, I’ll guess I’ll just say it—

It was Where the Wild Things Are

Awesome, right?

Can you believe you’ve never seen

A production

Of Where the Wild Things Are?

I haven’t

(That should have been my first clue)

It’s great when you can find a title

That immediately evokes a positive reaction

And if there’s nostalgia mixed in

Even better

So I Googled

And lo and behold

There IS a theatrical version

Of Where the Wild Things Are

But I can’t find it listed

On any of the dramatic publishing websites

Which is a little odd

But it happens

So I go—

Okay, it must be one of those

‘I’m gonna have to call somebody’s agent’ things

No problem

I’m on it

I contact the theater

That did the show

And ask them

If they knew

How I could obtain the rights

Now, this is when I should mention

That the theater—that I won’t name, because I’m not that tacky—

Is a professional theater

Like, a reputable

Professional

Equity

Theater

Okay?

Okay

And it takes a few days

But they get back to me

And say that I should contact

The author of the adaptation

Or her agent

Or something

I say, Okay

And that’s what I do

A couple days later

A representative for the author

Gets back to me

And says the author no longer has the rights

To the story

But I can contact

The Maurice Sendak estate

To ask about them

And I’m like—

Weird, but okay

Weird because it’s weird

That you would be given permission

To adapt something
And then have that permission

Taken away

But estates can be prickly sometimes

So okay, whatever

I contact the estate

A week goes by

And I get a very curt e-mail

From a representative there

Saying that there is no authorized

Theatrical version

Of Where the Wild Things Are

And the estate has no plans

On allowing anybody to adapt it

……..Awkward silence

Now, at this point, I could have just let the whole thing go

But, you know, when have I ever just minded my own business

And walked away

Like a normal person would

Plus, as I said, the e-mail’s tone was a little…sour

For my taste

So I sent back an e-mail

Pointing out that there was a production of the show

At a theater

And you can find it online

Now, I honestly wasn’t trying to get anybody in trouble

But I sincerely believed there was some sort of mix-up

Because the theater that I contacted was, again, a legitimate theater

That didn’t seem like it would do a giant illegal production

Of such a well-known work

I felt like I wasn’t being given the full story

But if I thought Estate Eliza—as I was now calling my pen pal—

Was going to give it to me without making me work for it

I was sorely mistaken

She wrote back to me and said—

‘Yes, that was an unauthorized production

We found out about it

And we shut it down’

…………Really awkward silence

I felt better knowing that this theater had already gotten in trouble

And I wasn’t getting them into trouble

(An important distinction)

But I was also like—WTF

Because, again, WHO DOES WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
WITHOUT GETTING THE RIGHTS?

And I could be wrong about this

But I feel like Maurice Sendak
Was kind of known

For not being that…generous

With the rights

To that?

And that’s why the movie was a big deal or something?

I don’t know

I could be making all that up

Anyway—

I remembered that there was more than production

On Google

So I went back

And found about four other productions of this adaptation

All being done

At really respected theaters

Some of them even bigger and more prestigious

Than the first theater I found and contacted

So, not being able to let it go,

Although I don’t know what I thought was going to happen
At this point

--But also because I couldn’t resist needling Estate Eliza

A little bit more—

I sent her the links to those other theaters

And her reply was—

“Yes, those were all illegal as well”

Now, at this point, I’m wondering if this is even the real estate

Because I honestly can’t believe this exchange

Like, first of all, why would you not just tell me right from the get-go

That there had been illegal productions of the show

Instead of just saying there had never been a production of it

An illegal production
Is still a production

And clearly

That’s why I’m asking about the show
In the first place

Secondly, why would you shut down a production of the show

But then allow the theaters that put on the show

To keep up photos and information about the production

And reviews—REVIEWS—so that people like me

Could find them and be confused

And also sort of heartbroken

Because ohmygodIreallywantedtodothatshow

So I ask her about the listings

And she says they can’t make them take those down

Or even force them to point out

That the productions they’re highlighting

Were, in fact, shut down

She suggests I contact the theaters
And even though I have a lot of other stuff to do

Like watching Chopped marathons

And ranking episodes of Black Mirror

In my man diary

I do

And none of them have gotten back to me yet

But—pardon the pun here

Isn’t that wild?

Like, I feel as if somebody is screwing with me
But I’m not sure who it would be

I don’t want to mention the name of the woman
Who’s credited as adapting the book

But if I try to put the pieces together here

It would appear that she illegally adapted this book

And then shopped that production around

To all these major theaters

Who hosted her and the production

Got themselves shut down

And then, maybe out of embarrassment,

Never mentioned that happening

Of course, all of them wouldn’t have been shut down

Because based on the dates

--Yes, I’ve done my unnecessary homework—

It was just the last one

The theater that I found

That got shut down

So many the other theaters had to pay a fine or something?

It’s bonkers

And I’m obsessed

And kind of want to meet this woman

To see if her balls are actually able

To fit in any normal room

Also, I like how I had to send about a thousand e-mails
Before anybody would tell me
What was actually going on

The first person I contacted
Easily could have been like--

"Listen, we were shut down.  But we don't put that on our website because it's embarrassing af.  Sorry."

But NOTHING

Do you believe this?

And also—

TAKE DOWN ANY PRODUCTION STUFF
OFF YOUR WEBSITE
IF THE PRODUCTION WAS SHUT DOWN

That’s what I take away from this

And also, that we can’t have nice things

None of us can

And that’s what makes this a tragedy

That’s the message I got

But that’s just me