American Idol: Nobody Sang "I Will Always Love You"

-- Because apparently nobody else in the music industry wanted to go on the biggest show in the country, they got Quentin, and all kinds of Hell broke loose.  For one thing, can we let all the judges talk?  I enjoy Fringe as much as the next guy, but look at NBC, they give Biggest Loser 2 HOURS!!!  They know that when you have a hit, you let it run as long as it wants.  Cut into local news if you have to.  Okay, end of rant.  Let's do the Top Seven, worst to best.  --

Anoop:  This kills me, it really does.  But here's my reason for putting Anoop on the bottom.  It's the same reason I don't like Adam, and why I now have my wish to win (even though I know he won't).  Anoop is not going to be played on the radio.  If all you can do without looking awkward are cheesy ballads, then you're in trouble.  He's a novelty.  It's sad to say that we can't have anybody and everybody on the radio today, but it's a fact.  He also doesn't have the fallbacks that Matt and Kris have, which is the fact that they play instruments.  So basically, at this point, he's a glorified wedding singer.  (I'm sorry, Anoop, you're still my favorite though.)

Lil:  Can I just say that strategically, treating American Idol like a competition--which it is, I think Lil is the best player.  She's taking soft white woman songs and then singing the s**t out of them.  The easier thing to do--but what would ultimately fail--would be what Syesha did last year, and try to pull off Whitney every week, and that's what it seems like the judges want her to do.  The problem is not in her strategy; it's in her execution.  Last night could have been a defining performance, but it fell apart because she didn't plan well enough and the money note at the end was more like a bounced check.  I still can't let her go, because I feel like she still has it in her to do well, but she needs to stop crying and whining, and plan out her performances better.  That's all.

Adam:  Before you kill me, listen to reason.  First of all, no flamboyant punk-rock wannabe flamer is getting played on radio today, and if you can find an example where I'm wrong (Lady Ga Ga doesn't count) then I'll apologize.  Screeching and wailing and hitting ridiculous notes are what theater kids enjoy, the rest of America wants something more.  Why, why, why would you pick "Born to Be Wild" when everybody's biggest critique of you so far is that you're straight out of Styxx.  Adam might win, but he'll go into the Ruben pile, not the Kelly pile.  Let's just be honest about that one, kids.

Allison:  I liked last night's performance, but now Allison is falling into the boredom category.  She can only do one thing.  The youth-angle has worn off.  The world already has a Pink.  These little issues keep popping up every once in awhile.  I don't know why that's never a criticism on Idol.  "You sound like someone else, and that's not a good thing."  Maybe because they don't mind hearing Pink after hearing Adam catcall through 80's pop.  Just a thought.

Matt:  The performance started out strong then fizzled.  I don't know how you let a song get away from you when you're the one playing for yourself.  If anything, I think he should have slowed it down even more rather than pick up the tempo, which is where it started to go wrong.  Next to my top choice, I think he's very marketable, but he needs to start knocking more performances out of the park--See "Let's Get It On."

Danny:  The reason Danny is so high up, despite the fact that "Endless Love" should NEVER be done as a solo, and the fact that he's milking widowhood for all it's worth, is that tonight I saw a glimmer of hope that he could actually be put on the radio today.  Granted, it would have to be as part of a boy band or, as Kelsey says, in an Elliot Y. sort of way, but if he can keep working on his look, it just might happen.

Kris:  Here's why Kris is, at this point, my pick to win.  He is by far the most marketable artist on the show.  He has musicality.  He interprets songs in his own way.  He has a broader knowledge of music than anybody else singing on that show.  On top of all that, he's incredibly likable.  Was his performance last night perfect?  No.  But it was heartfelt, and it showed that he doesn't need to hide behind a guitar.  As for Randy, fuck you.  You have NEVER heard that song or you would have known the performance wasn't pitchy, so shut up.  Kris should win, because he's exactly what Adam isn't--relevant and sincere.

That's all.