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On Game Shows

Some things you learn if you stay up until 3am every night watching the Game Show Network:

1) Alex Trebek is a dickhead, but Dick Clark is a much bigger dickhead. Whereas Trebek will make snide comments to the contestants when they're not performing well, Clark will fully dissect every wrong move AND say things like "They'll need two points to win the game, so I'd just consider myself a loser right now. NO WAY are they not getting those two points. You might as well just leave." Who would have thought that at any point in my life I'd be hating Dick Clark?

2) If you get on Pyramid, demand that Joanne Worley be your celebrity. That bitch is ridiculous. The only one who bests her is Shelly Smith, a little known actress from the 80's. She was unstoppable, but I don't think she qualifies as a celebrity anymore.

3) Family Feud is infuriating because it shows how dumb most people are, for example: When asked to name the Smartest People in history, both Jesus and Ghandi were in the Top 5--Sigmund Freud? Nowhere to be found.

This is what cable does to you.

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