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The First Three Matches Are Creepy

Have you seen the eHarmony commercial?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igu-zuIIJjM

A few questions:

1) Does everyone on eHarmony have lazy eyes?
2) Wasn't this girl--

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNxOV9cmIZo&feature=related

On Running in Heels?

3) When the guy in the commercial says "They asked me questions that...needed to be asked."

Does he mean--"Do you want to date an idiot?"

Did they ask him if he's into girls who have no facial expressions?

4) Is one of the eHarmony Dimensions 'Drugs You're On?'

Finally--

5) Why are gays upset that eHarmony doesn't let them on? I feel like someone's barred me from going into a lunatic asylum. We should be grateful, guys. These wackjobs aren't only ON the site; they're the SPOKESPEOPLE!

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