Esquire just put out its Fall Style Guide.
For those of you who don't want to look like an extra on Entourage, I have a few better ideas.
Follow these simples rules, and you'll have Kevin Broccoli Style down.
1) Plaid is your friend. Lots of plaid. But not just any plaid--over-sized plaid. Long-sleeved, button-down, and I want it to go down to at least your knees, people. Think early 90's grunge without the guitars or angst. If you can use your shirt as a blanket, you're going in the right direction.
2) Never wear shorts. Not even in hot weather. Not even to the beach. Not even to a "Wear Shorts for Charity" barbecue event. NEVER wear shorts. Never.
3) Shoes--all the time. Wear the same pair until they're literally falling apart. No sandals, no sneakers, no boots--who wears boots anyway? Shoes--as if every day is a special occasion and you're overdressed for most of them.
4) Wear jeans that make you look like you don't have an ass. They haven't developed an ass corset yet, but I hear one is forthcoming.
5) Hair--gel, lots and lots of gel--and make it go up--almost like a faux-hawk, but not quite. Kind of like a faux-hawk that panicked and got off the rollercoast at the last minute. A fear-faux-hawk in other words.
That's it. You're all ready for Fall.
Just remember that when spring rolls around...
...All the rules pretty much still apply.
For those of you who don't want to look like an extra on Entourage, I have a few better ideas.
Follow these simples rules, and you'll have Kevin Broccoli Style down.
1) Plaid is your friend. Lots of plaid. But not just any plaid--over-sized plaid. Long-sleeved, button-down, and I want it to go down to at least your knees, people. Think early 90's grunge without the guitars or angst. If you can use your shirt as a blanket, you're going in the right direction.
2) Never wear shorts. Not even in hot weather. Not even to the beach. Not even to a "Wear Shorts for Charity" barbecue event. NEVER wear shorts. Never.
3) Shoes--all the time. Wear the same pair until they're literally falling apart. No sandals, no sneakers, no boots--who wears boots anyway? Shoes--as if every day is a special occasion and you're overdressed for most of them.
4) Wear jeans that make you look like you don't have an ass. They haven't developed an ass corset yet, but I hear one is forthcoming.
5) Hair--gel, lots and lots of gel--and make it go up--almost like a faux-hawk, but not quite. Kind of like a faux-hawk that panicked and got off the rollercoast at the last minute. A fear-faux-hawk in other words.
That's it. You're all ready for Fall.
Just remember that when spring rolls around...
...All the rules pretty much still apply.
Comments
Post a Comment