Skip to main content

My Bejeweled Intervention

I have an addiction.

It's a little life-ruiner called "Bejeweled."

I play it non-stop, all the time, and when I'm not playing it, I think about playing it. Right now, as I'm writing this, I'm thinking about playing it.

It's a horrible, horrible, horrible addiction.

One that needs to be eradicated immediately.

I was going to wait for my friends to throw me an intervention--

(I'm not sure if "throwing" is the right verb, but it sounds festive, so I'm going with it.)

--But since I'm as good at hiding my Bejeweled addiction as I am at hiding my Iron Chef addiction, I thought they'll ever notice.

I've invited a few people to my intervention--people who are also suffering from Bejeweled addiction.

Unfortunately, none of them showed.

ME: Carly, where are you?
CARLY: Uh...I got caught up with something.
VOICE: EXCELLENT!
ME: Are you playing Bejeweled?
CARLY: No.
VOICE: EXCELLENT!
ME: Carly!
CARLY: Kevin, I'm about to hit 100,000 and I have a hyper gem.
ME: I'll let you go.

My Bejeweled intervention ended with me sitting in front of a computer neglecting my house plants and the two chinchillas I adopted before the addiction set into my veins.

There's no quirky ending here. I'm simply begging for help. If not for me, for Paola and Luka (the chins).

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A List of People Who Can Go to Hell Now That I Can't Have Elizabeth Warren

So today was a rough day for everybody who isn't a @#$%-ing #$%hole. Let's just start there. If that upsets you, by all means, go straight to hell. This entire rant is going to be exactly what it sounds like. I am mad and I am going to exercise my right to BLOG ABOUT IT LIKE IT'S 1995, SO BUCKLE UP, BUTTERCUP. I really don't even know where to start, so let's just jump right in with the first person who comes to mind. Bloomberg, go to hell.  You really didn't have anything specific to do with today, but you can just go to hell for spending an ungodly amount of money on literally nothing.  I mean, you could have lit millions of dollars on fire and at least warmed the hands of the homeless, but instead, you made tv stations across the country that are already owned by Conservatives rich, so kudos to you and go to hell. Amy Klobuchar, I STUCK UP FOR YOU AMY.  I got into FIGHTS on SOCIAL MEDIA while DEFENDING your sorry, self-interested ass.  You know ...

Theater and the Outbreak

After last week's interview, a representative from a theater that recently experienced the results of opening too soon reached out to speak with me. I want to thank this person for coming forward in the hopes that it'll change some minds about what's safe and what isn't when it comes to the performing arts. Here's the interview: ME:  So this wasn't a full production or-- THEM:  No. It was us trying to do a little something for friends and donors. ME:  Who is 'us?' THEM:  The board of _____. ME:  And how long have you been on the board? THEM:  Three years. ME:  What was this going to be? THEM:  There's a, uh, beautiful park here in town, and we wanted to do an outdoor performance of a Shakespeare as a benefit, because, as you know, theaters are having a hard time right now paying the bills. We checked with the local government and the health department for the state to make sure we were doing everything the way we needed to in order to keep everyon...

The Community and The Hypnotist

  Two years ago, I started interviewing people in the theater world about the problems within that community. All the subjects of the interviews remained anonymous to encourage people to speak directly and plainly without worrying that there would be consequences down the line. (Of course, even then, some people felt like outing themselves and getting in hot water, but we're going to leave that water under another bridge.) When I decided it was time to bring the series to a close, it was partly because I thought it had run its course, and partly because I had a new topic I wanted to tackle. While I've had my issues with theater and the people who do it, I've never felt like I didn't belong there, whereas from the moment I came out, I've never truly felt like a part of the gay community. To be clear, that probably has way more to do with me than the community, but it's something I wanted to explore, and I knew how I wanted to do it. The theater interviews were al...