Skip to main content

My Bejeweled Intervention

I have an addiction.

It's a little life-ruiner called "Bejeweled."

I play it non-stop, all the time, and when I'm not playing it, I think about playing it. Right now, as I'm writing this, I'm thinking about playing it.

It's a horrible, horrible, horrible addiction.

One that needs to be eradicated immediately.

I was going to wait for my friends to throw me an intervention--

(I'm not sure if "throwing" is the right verb, but it sounds festive, so I'm going with it.)

--But since I'm as good at hiding my Bejeweled addiction as I am at hiding my Iron Chef addiction, I thought they'll ever notice.

I've invited a few people to my intervention--people who are also suffering from Bejeweled addiction.

Unfortunately, none of them showed.

ME: Carly, where are you?
CARLY: Uh...I got caught up with something.
VOICE: EXCELLENT!
ME: Are you playing Bejeweled?
CARLY: No.
VOICE: EXCELLENT!
ME: Carly!
CARLY: Kevin, I'm about to hit 100,000 and I have a hyper gem.
ME: I'll let you go.

My Bejeweled intervention ended with me sitting in front of a computer neglecting my house plants and the two chinchillas I adopted before the addiction set into my veins.

There's no quirky ending here. I'm simply begging for help. If not for me, for Paola and Luka (the chins).

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A List of People Who Can Go to Hell Now That I Can't Have Elizabeth Warren

So today was a rough day for everybody who isn't a @#$%-ing #$%hole. Let's just start there. If that upsets you, by all means, go straight to hell. This entire rant is going to be exactly what it sounds like. I am mad and I am going to exercise my right to BLOG ABOUT IT LIKE IT'S 1995, SO BUCKLE UP, BUTTERCUP. I really don't even know where to start, so let's just jump right in with the first person who comes to mind. Bloomberg, go to hell.  You really didn't have anything specific to do with today, but you can just go to hell for spending an ungodly amount of money on literally nothing.  I mean, you could have lit millions of dollars on fire and at least warmed the hands of the homeless, but instead, you made tv stations across the country that are already owned by Conservatives rich, so kudos to you and go to hell. Amy Klobuchar, I STUCK UP FOR YOU AMY.  I got into FIGHTS on SOCIAL MEDIA while DEFENDING your sorry, self-interested ass.  You know ...

Theater and the Outbreak

After last week's interview, a representative from a theater that recently experienced the results of opening too soon reached out to speak with me. I want to thank this person for coming forward in the hopes that it'll change some minds about what's safe and what isn't when it comes to the performing arts. Here's the interview: ME:  So this wasn't a full production or-- THEM:  No. It was us trying to do a little something for friends and donors. ME:  Who is 'us?' THEM:  The board of _____. ME:  And how long have you been on the board? THEM:  Three years. ME:  What was this going to be? THEM:  There's a, uh, beautiful park here in town, and we wanted to do an outdoor performance of a Shakespeare as a benefit, because, as you know, theaters are having a hard time right now paying the bills. We checked with the local government and the health department for the state to make sure we were doing everything the way we needed to in order to keep everyon...

Theater and The Big Bad Wolf

My conversation today is unique in that it's with someone I had never spoken to until the time came to do this interview.  If you read last week's conversation, you know that this person was referred to me.  They are a theater artist with a long career and impressive resume who has since decided to leave their respective theater community. Here's the interview: ME:  I feel so liberated talking to you already because you're from so far away. THEM:  Canada's not that far away. ME:  You're my first international conversation. THEM:  I feel like I have to represent all of my country right now. ME:  You do.  You really do. THEM:  I've been preparing for this my whole life. ME:  You were--I don't know if the word should be 'referred,' but someone said--You need to talk to so-and-so, and here we are. THEM:  Here we are. ME:  Now, your story is one I think we've heard a lot, but what was interesting to me in the con...