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Me and TV (Pt. 1)

I've neglected television.

Normally, this wouldn't be considered unhealthy, but I grew up on television. It practically raised me. The fact that I've become one of those people who doesn't get references to last night's episode of "Grey's Anatomy" kills me.

So I'm doing a Recon mission--granted, I have no idea what that even means.

I started tonight. I have a lot of backlogging to do.

First off was "Weeds."

I'm a few episodes away from finishing off this latest season, and I can see them slowly climbing back to the show they once were. Getting Nancy and Celia back together was a smart move, but I still say that the best plan would be to somehow maneuver the show back towards suburbia. I don't understand why, when a show is clearly successful due to its concept (concept being quirky suburban mom sells pot) the writers/producers feel the need to kill the concept as quickly as possible.

(See Sex and the City--you know, when they stopped having sex two seasons before the damn show ended.)

TV is comfort, and comedy is mac and cheese. I don't want characters that grow and change in comedies. I want funny, and I want it all the time. Now I've had nearly two whole seasons of "Weeds" with no Conrad. When you have characters as good as that, you do NOT toss them aside. It's downright silly.

That being said, the one-liners are starting to resurface, and the scene with Nancy telling off/threatening Shane's teacher was absolute vintage.

Let's see more of that.

Next up was "Glee."

I actually didn't love the pilot. The camera work made me nauseous. I didn't like the guidance counselor character (I still don't) and there wasn't really enough, you know, Glee.

Quick Memo: Dear Ryan Murphy, I know you love Jessalyn Gilsig, but nobody else does, so please stop hiring her. If you want to recycle Nip/Tuck people, I'm all for it, but recycle Dr. Troy. He can give a cheerleader a nosejob. Think about it.

Back to my note--the season premiere got all out all the kinks. That pesky hysterical pregnancy plot was dumb, but everything else was fantastic. No jerky camera work. More crazy song choices. And if Jane Lynch doesn't get an Emmy for this next year, I truly believe she will kill somebody--and I will defend her for it.

Finally, we come to "Melrose Place."

Where, oh where, do I start?

Oh, before I forget--SPOILER ALERT.

I hate the couple. I hate all couples on shows like this. It's a show about promiscuous single people. Don't start coupling anybody up until AT LEAST the end of the first season. That way you have time to see who has chemistry. I like the diverse looking cast. I actually, shocker, like Ashley Wentz-Simpson. And the Sydney storyline was great--although why would all these twenty-somethings be friends with someone just because she's their landlord when she is--sorry Laura Leighton--kind of a hag?

Here's my suggestion--Keep Ella, and keep steering her toward Bitchy Town. The girl has potential. Get Amanda back ASAP. Have the med student/prostitute be wayyy more prostitute-y (Is that a word?) Kelly Carlson coming onboard as a madam? Yay x 100. Take a cue from 90210--only bring back the old characters people actually want to see. In other words, nobody cares what happened to Jo. Making characters the off-spring of original characters? Terrific. Auggie? I'm already bored. You've got your trouble-making girl, now add a boy and at least one more girl she can square off with once in awhile.

More than anything though--sex. You need more sex. That pilot was WAY too tame. Melrose was a hit because it was risque. Nobody cares about the intersecting lives of twenty-somethings. Not when they're written this poorly.

Take a cue from Darren Starr--you know, the guy who created the show? Sex sells.

Does this mean I'm not going to watch every episode?

Hey, let's not go Sydney here.

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