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My Sassy Comeback

As you all may know, I enjoy some sassy every now and again.

It's come to my attention recently that I need a sassy comeback--something along the lines of "I'm so sure" or "Yeah, okay" or "Broseph, please."

So I've gotten together a list of possible Broccoli comebacks, and I'm going to decide on one shortly and then proceed to get into confrontations with people in order to use my new sassy comeback.

Here are the finalists:

1) "Butcha ugly"

Example: "Hey Kev, I really didn't like that piece you wrote about llamas." "Wow, I would really respect you for saying that--butcha ugly."

2) "Take off your nasty pants."

Example: "Hey Kev, I really didn't appreciate you talking to me that way." "Okay, first of all, take off your nasty pants and go put on some civilized jeans. Okay?"

3) "Did somebody push the bitch button?"

Example: "Hey Kev, could you please remember to be more sensitive to my feelings? I'm really vulnerable right now because my uncle just revealed to me that he's really my father." "Whoooooa, did somebody push the bitch button? Can someone flip that switch back to normal? Please? Thank you."

4) "I hope they deport you."

Example: "Hey Kev, do you know the best way to get to Jamestown?" "I hope they deport you." "Who?" "They." "They who?" "You know, the universal 'they.'" "There's a universal 'they?'" "Yup, and I hope they deport you." "To where?" "Back to Skanktown where you belong." "But I wanna go to Jamestown." "Never mind."

5) "Skip."

Example: "Hey Kev, I'm having a really big problem. My Dad--" "Skip." "Uh...what?" "Skip. Next track." "So you don't want to hear about my--" "Disc broken. Reject. New disc." "Okay, well, that's really mean of--" "Random shuffle." "I'm walking away now." "NICODERM CQ!"

Yeah, I don't know where that last one came from...

So which one do you like?

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