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Bad Parenting: A Guide to Keeping Your Kids Safe

Working in a public place teaches you things.

1) Wash your hands a lot.
2) Watch what you say.
3) Be a horrible parent.

The last one probably seems funny to you.

It seems funny to me, too, but then again, so does Megan Fox having a career.

The world is a funny place.

On a daily basis, I see parents who are...Well, the only word for it is "reckless"--They're reckless with their children.

They have them walk home from school, even if home and school are miles away.

They call them on their cell phones and ask where they are--Do you honestly think you're ever getting an honest reaction to that question from a thirteen-year-old?

They drop them off where I work and come back hours later; assuming they're totally fine.

After seven years of working in the same public place, what have I seen happen to these kids?

They grow up. Safe and sound, if not a bit stilted in the emotional and behavior development departments.

Then I look at the Newsfeed on CNN, see parents who have their children abducted, and it's always the same story:

"I turned my back for one second..."

I don't doubt what they're saying. I'm beginning to think kidnappers like a challenge.

"Hmm, a kid standing two feet from her mother, or one alone in the mall on a Saturday whose mother isn't even going to think about it until she's done getting her manicure. Well, where's the fun in that?"

Maybe the reckless parents are teaching their kids karate at an earlier age than some, so they're just not worried as much as other parents.

Perhaps there's some bigger secret to bad parenting that I'm unaware of.

I guess I'll wait until I have a kid, then see if I get a memo from the Bad Parents Association.

"Do two things: First, give your child a sharp object and leave the room. Then call us, and we'll get you a reality show. You're one of us now. Congratulations. Your child will live to be a hundred."

If not, I'll just stick with being overprotective and paranoid.

Just like my Mom.

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