I came across an article written by this guy in my Notes section on Facebook. Now, as someone who uploads twenty-five notes a day, I know I shouldn't pick on anyone for what they write on Facebook.
That's why I'm going to pick on his "About Me" section.
I can't believe people like this actually exist in the world. On top of that, I can't believe there are people who are FRIENDS with people like this. This guy wrote the most inane note I've ever read, had four people say they like it, and three of them like it enough to comment and tell him how smart he is.
Clearly, the gay community is losing brain cells faster than I thought.
Here's the About Me:
"I split my time between NYC & Miami for work so looking to network/expand my social circle."
(He never actually says what he does--I'm thinking hooker.)
"A basic principle to live by is to open your heart to 'what is', instead of insisting that life be a certain way. This idea is important because much of our internal strugle stems from our desire to control life, to insist that it be different than it actually is."
(This is the first instance of him being both Captain Obvious and Eckhart Tolle.)
"But life isn't always (or even rarely is) the way we would like it to be - it is simply the way it is. The more we live for the moment, the greater will be our peace of mind."
(Ten bucks says he picked this little nugget up from a fortune cookie right before he took his nightly trick home for a game of "Lost Midwestern Choir Boy and Leather Man.")
"When we have preconceived ideas about the way life should be, they interfere with our opportunity to enjoy or learn from the present moment. This prevents us from honoring what we are or will go through, which may be an opportunity for great awakening. Rather than reacting to someone complaining or your partners disapproval, try opening your heart and accepting the moment for what it is. Make it okay that they aren't acting exactly the way you would like them to. Or if there's a guy your hoping to hit it off with ends up rejecting your advancement, see if you can say to yourself, 'Ah, rejection. He is obviously not my soul mate. when the time is right we'll meet, so I must keep trying."
(So when someone who doesn't buy your crystal/lava lamp bullshit tells you to fuck off, tell yourself that next time you'll offer him better drugs and he'll get in the van with you.)
"You open your heart in these ways, not to pretend that you enjoy complaints, dissaproval, or failure, but to transcend them - to make it all right with you that life isn't performing the way you planned. Your perspective will deepen. When you fight that which you struggle with, life can be a battle."
(Someone was using their thesaurus. "Fight," "battle," "struggle," "reading this about me section"--it's like I'm playing the $25,000 Pyramid.)
"But when you surrender to the moment, accept what is and make it okay with you, more peaceful feelings will begin to emerge. Live life for what it is, don't make excuses for anything you want to try. Remember this.... 'When we argue for our limitations... they become ours'"
(What does that MEAN???)
"Don't be so critical, enjoy differences of all kind. Open your heart and mind and soon your life will be filled with enlightenment."
(I think he's talking about opening more than your heart--just a guess.)
"Looking to meet awesome people who like to have fun, socialize & make good friends. I love meeting new people. I'm impressed by guys who can be sophisticated one minute & the next can be a little urban chic!"
(Urban chic? Who is he looking to meet? Kimora? Pepa? Diddy?)
"Someone who is just as happy at home or going out. Looking for that one person who takes my breath away. Have you seen him?"
(Yes, and he asked me to tell you to stop calling.)
"Someone I can share myself with. U don't have to be anything, but yourself."
(Did he just use a "U" for a "you." That's it. Being a moron is one thing, but grammar like that just nailed his coffin SHUT.)
"Kind, honest & "together" is a must."
(Um, is "together" code for "into bondage?")
"Honest & together. Subtle confidence is a turn on."
(Can someone explain to me how subtle confidence works? How can you be subtle and confident? "Wow, he seems--Wait! Is he confident? I didn't even notice!" At least this time he didn't put his weird quotes around "together.")
"Be assertive, not obnoxious."
(Obnoxious...Pot, kettle, who?)
"Someone whose outside beauty is matched by his inner spirit & energy."
(God, this guy loves his ampersands.)
"Intelligent, passionate men w/ wit."
(You know, like witty men who use w/ to say "with.")
"Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who takes the initiative & kisses me unexpectedly. A guy who is shy but takes chances is hot!!
(He means it, fellas. Just look at the three exclamation points.)
"If you can kiss really good, WOW!
(Because kissing really good is the equivalent of teaching an advanced biology class. WOW!)
"Physical qualities I find sexy: bright eyes, amazing smiles, & darker features but all are welcomed.
(I love when people describe what they want in someone physically and they described what EVERYONE wants in someone physically. "Someone who's devastatingly handsome would be terrific. I'm looking for an amazing body. Fat, bald people aren't really my thing. That's just me.")
"I`m a warm person, but I hate carrying conversation & I dislike rudeness."
(I basically just want to sit here and let you entertain me until we go back to my place and I make you put on the choir robes.)
Can you believe this guy is still on the market? It must be because of all his "traveling" back and forth between New York and Miami.
(Notice the quotations.)
That's why I'm going to pick on his "About Me" section.
I can't believe people like this actually exist in the world. On top of that, I can't believe there are people who are FRIENDS with people like this. This guy wrote the most inane note I've ever read, had four people say they like it, and three of them like it enough to comment and tell him how smart he is.
Clearly, the gay community is losing brain cells faster than I thought.
Here's the About Me:
"I split my time between NYC & Miami for work so looking to network/expand my social circle."
(He never actually says what he does--I'm thinking hooker.)
"A basic principle to live by is to open your heart to 'what is', instead of insisting that life be a certain way. This idea is important because much of our internal strugle stems from our desire to control life, to insist that it be different than it actually is."
(This is the first instance of him being both Captain Obvious and Eckhart Tolle.)
"But life isn't always (or even rarely is) the way we would like it to be - it is simply the way it is. The more we live for the moment, the greater will be our peace of mind."
(Ten bucks says he picked this little nugget up from a fortune cookie right before he took his nightly trick home for a game of "Lost Midwestern Choir Boy and Leather Man.")
"When we have preconceived ideas about the way life should be, they interfere with our opportunity to enjoy or learn from the present moment. This prevents us from honoring what we are or will go through, which may be an opportunity for great awakening. Rather than reacting to someone complaining or your partners disapproval, try opening your heart and accepting the moment for what it is. Make it okay that they aren't acting exactly the way you would like them to. Or if there's a guy your hoping to hit it off with ends up rejecting your advancement, see if you can say to yourself, 'Ah, rejection. He is obviously not my soul mate. when the time is right we'll meet, so I must keep trying."
(So when someone who doesn't buy your crystal/lava lamp bullshit tells you to fuck off, tell yourself that next time you'll offer him better drugs and he'll get in the van with you.)
"You open your heart in these ways, not to pretend that you enjoy complaints, dissaproval, or failure, but to transcend them - to make it all right with you that life isn't performing the way you planned. Your perspective will deepen. When you fight that which you struggle with, life can be a battle."
(Someone was using their thesaurus. "Fight," "battle," "struggle," "reading this about me section"--it's like I'm playing the $25,000 Pyramid.)
"But when you surrender to the moment, accept what is and make it okay with you, more peaceful feelings will begin to emerge. Live life for what it is, don't make excuses for anything you want to try. Remember this.... 'When we argue for our limitations... they become ours'"
(What does that MEAN???)
"Don't be so critical, enjoy differences of all kind. Open your heart and mind and soon your life will be filled with enlightenment."
(I think he's talking about opening more than your heart--just a guess.)
"Looking to meet awesome people who like to have fun, socialize & make good friends. I love meeting new people. I'm impressed by guys who can be sophisticated one minute & the next can be a little urban chic!"
(Urban chic? Who is he looking to meet? Kimora? Pepa? Diddy?)
"Someone who is just as happy at home or going out. Looking for that one person who takes my breath away. Have you seen him?"
(Yes, and he asked me to tell you to stop calling.)
"Someone I can share myself with. U don't have to be anything, but yourself."
(Did he just use a "U" for a "you." That's it. Being a moron is one thing, but grammar like that just nailed his coffin SHUT.)
"Kind, honest & "together" is a must."
(Um, is "together" code for "into bondage?")
"Honest & together. Subtle confidence is a turn on."
(Can someone explain to me how subtle confidence works? How can you be subtle and confident? "Wow, he seems--Wait! Is he confident? I didn't even notice!" At least this time he didn't put his weird quotes around "together.")
"Be assertive, not obnoxious."
(Obnoxious...Pot, kettle, who?)
"Someone whose outside beauty is matched by his inner spirit & energy."
(God, this guy loves his ampersands.)
"Intelligent, passionate men w/ wit."
(You know, like witty men who use w/ to say "with.")
"Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who takes the initiative & kisses me unexpectedly. A guy who is shy but takes chances is hot!!
(He means it, fellas. Just look at the three exclamation points.)
"If you can kiss really good, WOW!
(Because kissing really good is the equivalent of teaching an advanced biology class. WOW!)
"Physical qualities I find sexy: bright eyes, amazing smiles, & darker features but all are welcomed.
(I love when people describe what they want in someone physically and they described what EVERYONE wants in someone physically. "Someone who's devastatingly handsome would be terrific. I'm looking for an amazing body. Fat, bald people aren't really my thing. That's just me.")
"I`m a warm person, but I hate carrying conversation & I dislike rudeness."
(I basically just want to sit here and let you entertain me until we go back to my place and I make you put on the choir robes.)
Can you believe this guy is still on the market? It must be because of all his "traveling" back and forth between New York and Miami.
(Notice the quotations.)
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