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Top Chef: Boredom City

Normally by the time Restaurant Wars rolls around, I'm addicted to Top Chef.

This year, I'm barely involved at all (and by that, I mean, I'm willing to catch the episode on a rerun, rather than drop everything on Wednesday night and turn off my phone.)

I place the blame on the contestants.

Who the hell picked these people?

Aside from the fact that there's a clear delineation between the really talented ones and the ones who are in over their heads (I liked Ash, but why was he there? Why?)--nobody is television material.

Jennifer is a mess, who I guess was supposed to fill the scattershot Carla slot, but by this time last year Carla had already pulled it together and was putting out some great stuff. She could also articulate clearly and give great soundbytes. Jennifer mumbles and clearly doesn't use conditioner.

While we're on the subject of appearance, can anyone find me another group of messier people who make their living making FOOD? Beards, piercings, overall bad hygiene--I wouldn't even let them do my dishes.

I love that the show is pushing the Voltaggio brother feud as the driving point of the show. Between the two guys, I think they have one personality.

Then we have Mike Isabella who's such an experienced chef he didn't even know what Eggs Florentine was. (Yes, I had to Wikipedia it, too, but I'm not on a COOKING SHOW.)

Kevin and Eli are still looking for the ring to unite us all, while Laurine has completely forgotten that she's on a television competition, and is simply trying to find a corner to cry in.

Finally, we come to Robin, who everybody hates. The twist? She had cancer. That's right. They made the annoying villain of the show--a cancer survivor.

Whoever was in charge of this season should be fired...

...Before they do Top Chef: Providence, and I'm a contestant.

What? At least I can make Eggs Florentine...now.

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