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The GQ Spring Accessories

Just when I thought I was a complete fashion disaster, GQ decided to drag me deeper into the gallows of style--

Accessories

There's still snow on the ground, and GQ wants me to worry about having a warmer look.

I agreed to play along, but hopefully they won't try making me wear an $800 poncho...again.

http://www.gq.com/style/wear-it-now/201002/spring-style-essentials-ties-watches#slide=1

Stingy?

First of all, not an adjective.

Second of all, being narrow has nothing to do with stinging anybody.

Thirdly, I cannot pull off a straw hat. I am neither a scarecrow nor a hobo.

http://www.gq.com/style/wear-it-now/201002/spring-style-essentials-ties-watches#slide=3

Nor am I World War II governess.

Let's move on.

http://www.gq.com/style/wear-it-now/201002/spring-style-essentials-ties-watches#slide=14

Badass-itude?

GQ is just making s**t up now.

And just so we're clear, a bright yellow face on your watch does not make you Shaft.

http://www.gq.com/style/wear-it-now/201002/spring-style-essentials-ties-watches#slide=18

This costs almost $5000.

For that, you could pay me to follow you around and give you the time whenever you want it.

http://www.gq.com/style/wear-it-now/201002/spring-style-essentials-ties-watches#slide=27

Apparently it's going to be one hell of a bright spring.

This is what I abhor about style.

After being lectured again and again about buying only solid ties, now I have to go out and buy striped ties.

Between the straw hat, the badass watch, and now the brightly colored tie I'm going to end up looking like a walking GAP ad.

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