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Kevin Broccoli's Sold Out "Rent"

A few months ago, I reported to you that my production of Rent was opening amid much excitement.

Since then, we're continually sold out every single weekend.

That's right. Every seat in our three-seat house has been FILLED for the past three months for every performance. And we do two shows a week, people--you do the math.

I thought I'd take this opportunity to thank all the people who made this production the unprecedented success it is, but I just don't know where to start.

I mean, there's me--and then other people.

Mostly, I just feel blessed, because I managed to take a hard-to-sell show like Rent and make it marketable.

I mean, do you have any idea how hard it is to sell out a show that ran on Broadway for ten years, spawned a movie, national tours, and an entire generation of die-hard fans?

It takes an amazing PR guy to warm that turkey up, trust me.

Plus, we weren't exactly playing in the hosh posh downtown arena of your typical Manhattan or Los Angeles or Topeka.

We're doing this show in Smithfield, Rhode Island at my friend Chris' house.

That's right--we're doing the Smithfield Premiere of Rent.

Do you know how amazing that looks on a resume? And, by the way, the answer to your unasked question is "No," I will not be editing our posters because somebody else decided to do a production of Rent at the junior high in Smithfield.

We're doing the Premiere, they're doing the Smithfield Junior High premiere. Our show takes place in my friend Chris' living room and is very conceptual. Their show is being done by a bunch of pre-teens who added "Defying Gravity" into the second act just because they felt like it.

Sacrilegious pimple-faced little bastards.

OH! Did I mention Walter King from the Smithfield Examiner came to see our show and called it the best thing he's ever seen since last fall when Smithfield High premiered the musical version of Salmon Rushdie's "The Satanic Verses" entitled "Hit It, Satan."

(Who knows what the f**k's going on at that high school?)

So yeah--rave reviews, sold out houses, and--oh--someone saw the junior high show and thought ours was, like, way more professional. Plus, Chris' uncle is black, so we have him play a tambourine during 'Seasons of Love.' Do you know what's that called?

Cast--Diversity.

You're going to want to get tickets, because come the week before Easter, this show must closed.

That's when I start working at the mall as the Easter Bunny.

Let me tell you something--

My resume is getting a LITTLE crowded.

Mmmm, I can just smell your envy.

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