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How Carrie and Big Are Ruining the Girls of My Generation

I have a problem with "Sex and the City."

Well, not really...

I love Miranda, I love Samantha, even Charlotte...

I think the writing is crisp and funny. I went to see the movie. I'm planning on seeing the sequel.

My problem lies with a particular relationship that I believe has destroyed any chance of the independent women of my generation having a realistic perspective on dating.

That's right--I'm talking about Carrie and Big.

I knew from the series finale, and the subsequent movie, that these two were going to do detrimental harm.

The fact is, the ending of the tv show and the movie offered up a happy ending to what, in real life, is more often than not, a very unhappy situation.

Carrie and Big got together because that's what single women out there want to believe--that the married jerk who treats them poorly is one day going to have a burst of self-awareness and become the perfect husband.

Um...no.

It doesn't happen.

Ironically, I think "Sex and the City"s cultural spin-off "He's Just Not That Into You" would probably say the same thing.

Now whenever one of my girlfriends gets themselves involved with a Big-type, I can't talk them into losing the guy because--

"Look what happened with Carrie and Big!"

Big has become the new Prince Charming. The imaginary perfect guy that makes girls pass up perfectly good guys because they don't measure up.

He's the bad boy archetype. The savior. The charmer.

In other words, in real life, he's the guy girls know they should avoid but have trouble doing so because he feeds into every psychological need girls my age have:

- Daddy issues

- Insecurity issues

- Love of men with great hair

What "Sex and the City" did was tell these girls that it's okay to like guys like Big.

Well, it's not.

So why, you might ask, am I going to see the sequel?

For the opposite of everything that Big stands for.

One reason, and one reason only--

--Aidan.

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