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The Top Ten TV Shows That May Have F**ked Me Up

10. You Can't Do That on Television - Now whenever I say "water" or "I don't know" I look up and expect to have something fall on my head.

9. David the Gnome - That whole nose kissing thing? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that made me gay.

8. Clarissa Explains It All - Apparently it's NOT okay to have an alligator in your bedroom.

7. Roundhouse - Every Monday morning I would go to school and burst into song, and every Monday morning I'd get beaten up by kids who didn't have Nickelodeon.

6. Are You Afraid of the Dark? - I still have nightmares about that f**king girl-in-the-mirror-in-the-abandoned-house episode.

5. Full House - Until I was ten, I though Bob Saget was a comedic genius.

4. Red Shoe Diaries - Not sure why I was allowed to watch that...

3. Figure It Out - Now whenever I look at people, I wonder if they can juggle with their feet or sing the National Anthem while gargling.

2. Ghostwriter - I went through my old Ghostwriter notebooks and they look like the musings of a schizophrenic.

1. Eureka's Castle - Can you think of a show that did a better job of promoting the use of hallucinogenic drugs?

Yup, didn't think so.

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