Esquire has given me five little things to pump up my spring wardrobe.
This is in contrast to their last list--"Replace Everything You Own."
Here's the list:
1) The Thickest Belt You Can Find: Forget the fact that every male model in Esquire tips the scale at seventy pounds soaking wet. They want you to wear a belt like you're a McDonald's junkie from the Midwest. If you find yourself falling over or backwards due to the weight of your belt, you know you've made the right choice.
2) Big-Game Aviator Sunglasses: When you want that little bit of Bradley Cooper a**hole edge without any of the charm, buy a pair of these.
3) The $895 Murse: So what, you may ask, could be so valuable that you would need a reinforced man-bag that costs a little under a thousand dollars? Good question. I think Indiana Jones owned one of these, but then again, he was into smuggling biblical artifacts, so I guess it's a person-to-person thing.
4) L.L. Bean's Hunting Boots: So you don't go hunting? Who cares?! Buy these anyway. People will marvel at you as they think you're the leader of a militia--a super stylish militia.
5) Billy Reid's Pre-Aged Oxford Shoes: Basically--old looking shoes. Funny, last month my friends begged me to buy new shoes after I wore mine down to the soles. Now, Esquire wants me to spend almost four hundred dollars buying a new pair that have been strategically worn down to the soles to look fashionable.
Style is a cruel mistress, isn't she?
This is in contrast to their last list--"Replace Everything You Own."
Here's the list:
1) The Thickest Belt You Can Find: Forget the fact that every male model in Esquire tips the scale at seventy pounds soaking wet. They want you to wear a belt like you're a McDonald's junkie from the Midwest. If you find yourself falling over or backwards due to the weight of your belt, you know you've made the right choice.
2) Big-Game Aviator Sunglasses: When you want that little bit of Bradley Cooper a**hole edge without any of the charm, buy a pair of these.
3) The $895 Murse: So what, you may ask, could be so valuable that you would need a reinforced man-bag that costs a little under a thousand dollars? Good question. I think Indiana Jones owned one of these, but then again, he was into smuggling biblical artifacts, so I guess it's a person-to-person thing.
4) L.L. Bean's Hunting Boots: So you don't go hunting? Who cares?! Buy these anyway. People will marvel at you as they think you're the leader of a militia--a super stylish militia.
5) Billy Reid's Pre-Aged Oxford Shoes: Basically--old looking shoes. Funny, last month my friends begged me to buy new shoes after I wore mine down to the soles. Now, Esquire wants me to spend almost four hundred dollars buying a new pair that have been strategically worn down to the soles to look fashionable.
Style is a cruel mistress, isn't she?
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