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Have You Ever Tried Not Dating?

I think I may have found my very own "He's Just Not That Into You."

You know, the direct catchphrase that changed the way women think about dating with a dash of cruelty and a big lump of honesty?

Yeah, I think I found another one of those.

Here it is:

"Have you ever tried not dating?"

Think about it--it fits almost every bad dating situation.

Your girl friend tells you that she keeps winding up with guys who steal her car and use her ATM card.

You respond with: Have you ever tried not dating?

Your guy friend tells you he always winds up with crazy girls who try knocking him unconscious and taking him to an all-night wedding chapel in Las Vegas.

You respond with: Have you ever tried not dating?

At first, it just sounds means, but then they think about it--

Wouldn't most of their problems be solved if they had time to reflect on what was going on with them?

At the very least, they're not going to get into any more trouble because they just WON'T be dating.

And you, their friend, won't have to hear stories about how they kidnapped their ex's cat or lit their mailbox on fire.

So often, we say to ourselves--You know, I really should take a break from dating.

Then, of course, we're asked out by people.

Why?

Because life likes to tempt us after we make broad, sweeping statements like--

"I'm not going to date for awhile."

--and--

"My car runs just fine. I doubt it'll need work done on it at for the next few months at least."

The trick is, when you adopt "Have You Ever Tried Not Dating?" what you're saying is--

No, don't just avoid pursuing people. When people pursue you, tell them you're on a break from dating.

That oughta separate the boys from the breakers.

I think all of single society would be a lot better off if everyone collectively decided to take a few months off from interacting with each other romantically or otherwise, and evaluated themselves.

Believe me? Of course you do.

Who doesn't believe a good catch phrase?

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