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Do Men with Accents Get More Action?

A recent CNN article posed the question:

Do guys with accents get more girls?

Hmm, I thought, that might actually be true.

I know most girls can't resist a British lilt or a Southern drawl.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder, what about more unique accents?

So, I decided to do a little investigating.

To test drive a few different accents, I went to one of these places known as "straight bars." A friend told me about one after I promised not to reveal his name.

The first girl I talked to wasn't that impressed with my accent.

GIRL: Um, are you slow or something?
ME: Nuuuuu. I'm from Sveden.
GIRL: Oh...but you're, like, tanned.
ME: I'm from Suuthern Sveden where it's suunny.
GIRL: Oh well, I think my friend's waving at me.
ME: Flergen bergen jergen.
GIRL: Okay, now you just sound like the Swedish chef.
ME: Shuuld I take my chef hat off? Wuuld that help?

Big negative. I decided to try a more Germanic accent.

GIRL: So do you like movies and stuff?
ME: Nein.
GIRL: Oh...okay. Well, what are your hobbies?
ME: I am fery intevestet in making sex vith you.
GIRL: Ew, you're a creep.
ME: Is dat a no?

The next attempt didn't go so well either.

ME: Did you ever shoot a man just to watch him die?
GIRL: Do you realize you sound like John Wayne?
ME: Is that working for you, pardner?
GIRL: Uh, my name's Jill.
ME: Ever do it in a prairie hole?
GIRL: Is that even possible?
ME: Woman, if you're not barefoot and pregnant by the time I get back from town, I'm going to throw you in a covered wagon and give you to Injuns.
GIRL: Okay, I'm calling the cops.
ME: Uh...dang.

By the time I tried out the Bavarian accent, the police showed up at the club looking for a guy with a chef's hat and spurs who may or may not be Werner Herzog.

So it looks like if you have to have an accent, stick with the traditional ones.

Especially if your John Wayne impersonation is as bad as mine.

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