Here are a list of words and/or phrases I would like to see abolished:
- "Where are you in my life?" Spoken usually by a sad, lonely girl to the gay friend she wishes she could marry, it's more a cry for help than a friendly sentiment.
- "We're amazing." No, you're not. You're annoying. Nine times out of ten, when you're acknowledging your own amazement, you're just being obnoxious.
- "Um, can we talk about how..." This is usually just a way of bringing attention to something funny that happened to you that you think--when shared with the world--will make you look fun and crazy. Normally, nobody has a clue what you're talking about, and you end up just sounding like a kid who wandered off the field trip and got felt up by a homeless person.
- "I love my boyfriend!" I'm not putting a /girlfriend there, because try as I might, I cannot find a single boy who has written "I love my girlfriend!" on their Facebook wall or anywhere else. So girls and gays, I'm looking at you. Knock off the boyfriend shout-outs, or when you find out he's cheating on you, and all your friends seem sympathetic, they're really just going to be thrilled that they don't have to hear about him anymore.
- Quotes from "Mean Girls" or "Glee." Be clever--quote "Modern Family," "30 Rock," or "Arrested Development." Hell, quote "The Seventh Seal"--just please, enough of the Sue Sylvester quotes. I'm dying here.
Speaking of which--
- "Dead." I wish you were.
- Saying "Sooo" at the beginning of something and "Thanks" at the end of something, like it's been decided. "Soooo we're going to get coffee tomorrow. Thanks! ;) " Oh right, I forgot the winkie face. Look, I don't know when actually asking people to do things went out of style, but we need to bring it back. When you "Sooo" and "Thanks" me, I'm probably going to avoid doing whatever it is you want to do, even if I want to do it.
Sooo knock it off, and all the other stuff too.
Okay? Thanks.
;)
- "Where are you in my life?" Spoken usually by a sad, lonely girl to the gay friend she wishes she could marry, it's more a cry for help than a friendly sentiment.
- "We're amazing." No, you're not. You're annoying. Nine times out of ten, when you're acknowledging your own amazement, you're just being obnoxious.
- "Um, can we talk about how..." This is usually just a way of bringing attention to something funny that happened to you that you think--when shared with the world--will make you look fun and crazy. Normally, nobody has a clue what you're talking about, and you end up just sounding like a kid who wandered off the field trip and got felt up by a homeless person.
- "I love my boyfriend!" I'm not putting a /girlfriend there, because try as I might, I cannot find a single boy who has written "I love my girlfriend!" on their Facebook wall or anywhere else. So girls and gays, I'm looking at you. Knock off the boyfriend shout-outs, or when you find out he's cheating on you, and all your friends seem sympathetic, they're really just going to be thrilled that they don't have to hear about him anymore.
- Quotes from "Mean Girls" or "Glee." Be clever--quote "Modern Family," "30 Rock," or "Arrested Development." Hell, quote "The Seventh Seal"--just please, enough of the Sue Sylvester quotes. I'm dying here.
Speaking of which--
- "Dead." I wish you were.
- Saying "Sooo" at the beginning of something and "Thanks" at the end of something, like it's been decided. "Soooo we're going to get coffee tomorrow. Thanks! ;) " Oh right, I forgot the winkie face. Look, I don't know when actually asking people to do things went out of style, but we need to bring it back. When you "Sooo" and "Thanks" me, I'm probably going to avoid doing whatever it is you want to do, even if I want to do it.
Sooo knock it off, and all the other stuff too.
Okay? Thanks.
;)
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