I just finished a terrific non-fiction book entitled "The Council of Dads" by Bruce Feiler.
It's about a man (Feiler) with a wife and two identical twin daughters who learns that he has cancer. He decides that if he should pass away without getting to see his two young daughters grow up, he would want them to have father figures in their lives who would represent him.
He goes about assembling a Council of Dads made up of six men who impacted his life. He asks these men to be his voice, and be the father he might not be able to be.
Obviously, the book is a tear-jerker. If you're a Daddy's girl, you'll absolutely love it.
More than just being sentimental though, it brings up some things that I've been thinking a lot about lately:
- Community is such an important and neglected concept. For years, people have been bemoaning the death of the nuclear family and how it's brought about society's disintegration. I don't think that's what's tearing apart the country. I think what's driving us apart is the low value we put on having a support system in our lives made up of the people we surround ourselves with. Now that we're so connected by technology, I think we underrate how important actual presence is in our lives. We think an e-mail or a phone call is the same thing as actual human contact. We're so used to having people move in and out of our lives that we try to ignore the fact that we suffer from not having those who mean the most to us in our vicinity. Tonight I got to hang out with my best friend, and every time I do, I feel rejuvenated. Talking with him on the phone is great, but it's not the same. I think when we say society is being torn apart, we should actually think of it in actual terms. I can't help but think of "Our Town" by Thornton Wilder. That message that it's not good to have everyone you love kept so far from you. I feel like Mr. Feiler understands that, and he wanted his girls to always have that support system on hand when they needed it. I admire him for that. We need community in our lives. It doesn't have to be family, but it does have to be present beyond just an inbox message asking "how are things?"
- Think about who you would say in your life defines who you are. The author didn't just pick his dad, brother, and other obvious potential godparents. He didn't chose his council based on who he happened to know the longest. He picked the men that reflected his beliefs, his personality, his sense of humor, and his voice. So often we forget to look around us at the people we have in our lives and say "Are these the people I want representing me?" It's so easy to say "These are my friends, but they're not me." But really, aren't they? Shouldn't we all have our own councils, not just for our offspring, but for ourselves? TO remind us who it is we are and should continue to be?
It's a little book, but it packs a wallop.
Good News Spoiler Alert: Feiler is still alive and well. There, now go read it.
It's about a man (Feiler) with a wife and two identical twin daughters who learns that he has cancer. He decides that if he should pass away without getting to see his two young daughters grow up, he would want them to have father figures in their lives who would represent him.
He goes about assembling a Council of Dads made up of six men who impacted his life. He asks these men to be his voice, and be the father he might not be able to be.
Obviously, the book is a tear-jerker. If you're a Daddy's girl, you'll absolutely love it.
More than just being sentimental though, it brings up some things that I've been thinking a lot about lately:
- Community is such an important and neglected concept. For years, people have been bemoaning the death of the nuclear family and how it's brought about society's disintegration. I don't think that's what's tearing apart the country. I think what's driving us apart is the low value we put on having a support system in our lives made up of the people we surround ourselves with. Now that we're so connected by technology, I think we underrate how important actual presence is in our lives. We think an e-mail or a phone call is the same thing as actual human contact. We're so used to having people move in and out of our lives that we try to ignore the fact that we suffer from not having those who mean the most to us in our vicinity. Tonight I got to hang out with my best friend, and every time I do, I feel rejuvenated. Talking with him on the phone is great, but it's not the same. I think when we say society is being torn apart, we should actually think of it in actual terms. I can't help but think of "Our Town" by Thornton Wilder. That message that it's not good to have everyone you love kept so far from you. I feel like Mr. Feiler understands that, and he wanted his girls to always have that support system on hand when they needed it. I admire him for that. We need community in our lives. It doesn't have to be family, but it does have to be present beyond just an inbox message asking "how are things?"
- Think about who you would say in your life defines who you are. The author didn't just pick his dad, brother, and other obvious potential godparents. He didn't chose his council based on who he happened to know the longest. He picked the men that reflected his beliefs, his personality, his sense of humor, and his voice. So often we forget to look around us at the people we have in our lives and say "Are these the people I want representing me?" It's so easy to say "These are my friends, but they're not me." But really, aren't they? Shouldn't we all have our own councils, not just for our offspring, but for ourselves? TO remind us who it is we are and should continue to be?
It's a little book, but it packs a wallop.
Good News Spoiler Alert: Feiler is still alive and well. There, now go read it.
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