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The Rhode Island Supermarket Principle

I have a theory.

I've discovered where I work that if ten different people come in at ten different times, they will all proceed to checkout at the exact same time.

Believe me, it has taken me years to gather my research together, but now I'm convinced.

Just tonight, it happened to me in the supermarket.

I arrived there to pick up a few items, and after walking around the store, I ascertained that there were about seven other people there in addition to myself.

Every single one of those seven people decided to check out right when I started walking to the front.

So what does this information prove?

That Rhode Islanders enjoy making each other's lives difficult.

I'm convinced of it.

At the very least, Rhode Islanders are determined to make my life more difficult.

How else can you explain that when I'm in a hurry I always seem to have the one person in the state in front of me who goes ten miles below the speed limit?

How else can you explain the fact that when I go to Barnes and Noble to read Details and Esquire someone always sits next to me in the cafe and tells their mother over the phone what the mole on their back looks like.

"IT LOOKS LIKE BOBBY FLAY!"

How else can you explain seven people all decided that they'd like to leave the market at the same time?

Rhode Islanders can sense when someone's in a hurry, and they move to thwart that person from getting where they're going on time.

It's like that old joke--"In Rhode Island we don't care when we get somewhere, we just don't want anyone getting there before us."

Therefore, I have decided to thwart the thwarters.

The next time I go to the market, I'm going to do half my shopping, then move towards the checkout lane only to veer back into the market and finish my shopping.

Oh sure, this sounds like something a crazy person would do.

But I live in Rhode Island.

We're all crazy here.

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