Shame the Children

A teacher friend recently told me that she had a problem with kids calling stuff "gay."

Now, this isn't exactly a new problem, but I did manage to come up with a new solution:

"Did you think about telling them that they're lame?"

She didn't know what I meant.

"You mean explain to them that what they're saying is prejudiced and--"
"Yeah, no, they've already heard that, I'm sure. Why not just tell them it's, like, really stupid?"

Well, she can't use the word "stupid" because that's banned in her classroom as well.

"Okay, but the only way teenagers stop doing ANYTHING is if they think it's uncool. So you have to make it uncool."
"How do I do that?"
"Shame them."

To me, it seems pretty simple.

After all, my teacher friend was in high school when "Mean Girls" came out. My generation should know how to handle stuff like this. Go toe-to-toe with the mean kids. Unfortunately, it might mean playing at their level.

"The other day this girl outside where I work was picking on another girl by calling her fat."
"What did you do?"
"I told her that someone with that much make-up on and a shirt from TJ Maxx really shouldn't be making fun of anyone."
"But you probably hurt her feelings!"
"No, I knocked her down a few pegs. I evened up the food chain. That's what you have to do."

I don't see why this is so hard to comprehend.

Kids have taken bullying to a new level. It's become an art form. Yet adults are still trying the same tactics to stop it that they were trying in the fifties.

Detention doesn't work--it just makes you look cooler because suddenly you're "bad."

Explaining how hurtful words can be? Lame. These are teenagers. They're fighting for their lives. Who cares who gets hurt in the process?

Why is it that we all remember how useless teachers were when it came to stopping bullying when we were kids, and yet my friends who are teachers are trying the SAME TACTICS?

Clearly, it's time for something new.

I say get in the mix. Know the social hierarchies in your school if you want to dismantle them.

If you see a Queen Bee, take her out.

A female bully is like a good boxer--they know no fear. Talking about feelings is just going to make you look like the old stern teacher.

I say fight fire with fire.

Show the bullies how it feels to be bullied.

And in the cases where they're acting out because of what's happening at home, we all need to stop tiptoeing around with parent/teacher conferences and start throwing people in jail.

A video went viral recently that showed a group of girls violently beating on another girl. This is one in a series of videos that has hit the airwaves over the years.

The parents response?

"Kids will be kids."

What exactly are we teaching kids? That assault has no repercussions? That you can't get in trouble for harassing someone as long as you do it online?

There needs to be a zero tolerance policy for this sort of thing, and the place to start is by throwing teenagers' words back in their faces.

I know there were some pretty tough kids in my generation, and now they're getting eaten alive by kids who were raised on Spongebob.

I have to ask--

What the hell happened?