I felt compelled to write this, because I saw a Facebook group advocating charging the students that turned on a webcam broadcasting another student having sex with another man. The incident resulted in the closeted student committing suicide, and while nobody would argue that this is a sad situation, I think we need to take a step back and have a little perspective here.
For one thing, I don't think this situation should be grouped into the other reports of teen suicides coming out lately. Those teens were in high school, they were out of the closet, and they were bullied for being gay. This student was in college. He was an adult. If he was still living a double life at this point, then he must have been aware that he was playing with fire. It's a sad situation that involves sexuality, but that doesn't automatically tie it into the other cases we've heard about recently.
The Rutgers incident is one where people made poor choices, and it resulted in the death of another.
When people start throwing around words like "manslaughter," I have to put my hands up and say stop. This was a prank. A cruel, tasteless prank, but let's be honest: How many of us went to college and how many of us either participated in or witnessed the same thing? Turning on a webcam to catch your roommate having sex is not the same thing as tormenting someone for being gay. I don't get the impression from any of the news stories I read that the actions taken were the result of discrimination or prejudice, just poor judgment.
It's very sad that Tyler Clementi killed himself after what happened, but let's not disregard the fact that this was clearly someone struggling with his identity. If this was what caused him to jump off a bridge, then wasn't it only a matter of time before it happened anyway? Rutgers isn't some backwater private religious school. If Clementi didn't feel safe there, then would he feel safe anywhere?
Yes, I'm sure there are other issues not being reported, but even after having read article after article, all I can discern is that this kid was in conflict with himself trying to lead a life that is impossible to sustain. Many closeted students probably feel the same way, and it's important that they get help, but how do you expect people to understand that you're not ready to come out if you're having sex with men in your room? I'm sure to straight people that would be an indicator that you've come to terms with your sexuality.
I think words like "manslaughter" and "murderers" are inappropriate here. I think that the media is tying this into the other cases of bullying, because it enables them to sensationalize the tragedies that are unfolding in schools all over this country. The fact is, however, that if we look closely, this was an isolated incident. The students responsible for broadcasting that interaction should be punished, yes, but talking about throwing them in jail is just ridiculous.
I'm writing this not to attack the dead, but to consider the living. By putting so much attention on this tragedy, we're being distracted from the kids in high schools and junior high schools today who are genuinely being raked over the coals on a daily basis.
What happened at Rutgers is very sad, but it's not a criminal act.
For one thing, I don't think this situation should be grouped into the other reports of teen suicides coming out lately. Those teens were in high school, they were out of the closet, and they were bullied for being gay. This student was in college. He was an adult. If he was still living a double life at this point, then he must have been aware that he was playing with fire. It's a sad situation that involves sexuality, but that doesn't automatically tie it into the other cases we've heard about recently.
The Rutgers incident is one where people made poor choices, and it resulted in the death of another.
When people start throwing around words like "manslaughter," I have to put my hands up and say stop. This was a prank. A cruel, tasteless prank, but let's be honest: How many of us went to college and how many of us either participated in or witnessed the same thing? Turning on a webcam to catch your roommate having sex is not the same thing as tormenting someone for being gay. I don't get the impression from any of the news stories I read that the actions taken were the result of discrimination or prejudice, just poor judgment.
It's very sad that Tyler Clementi killed himself after what happened, but let's not disregard the fact that this was clearly someone struggling with his identity. If this was what caused him to jump off a bridge, then wasn't it only a matter of time before it happened anyway? Rutgers isn't some backwater private religious school. If Clementi didn't feel safe there, then would he feel safe anywhere?
Yes, I'm sure there are other issues not being reported, but even after having read article after article, all I can discern is that this kid was in conflict with himself trying to lead a life that is impossible to sustain. Many closeted students probably feel the same way, and it's important that they get help, but how do you expect people to understand that you're not ready to come out if you're having sex with men in your room? I'm sure to straight people that would be an indicator that you've come to terms with your sexuality.
I think words like "manslaughter" and "murderers" are inappropriate here. I think that the media is tying this into the other cases of bullying, because it enables them to sensationalize the tragedies that are unfolding in schools all over this country. The fact is, however, that if we look closely, this was an isolated incident. The students responsible for broadcasting that interaction should be punished, yes, but talking about throwing them in jail is just ridiculous.
I'm writing this not to attack the dead, but to consider the living. By putting so much attention on this tragedy, we're being distracted from the kids in high schools and junior high schools today who are genuinely being raked over the coals on a daily basis.
What happened at Rutgers is very sad, but it's not a criminal act.
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