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How to Complicate Grilled Cheese

As some of you know, most of what I write for the "This Can't Be Broccoli" blog gets cross-posted on Open Salon.com.

Every once in awhile, Salon has "Open Call" challenges where they ask for entries relating to a particular topic like "Scary Stories" or "Halloween Costumes."

I like participating in the Open Calls, because I'm an Editor's Pick whore (that's when the editors like something you've written and feature it on the main page).  It's easier to get an Editor's Pick if you're responding to an Open Call.

Unfortunately, most of the time, I can't participate because the Open Calls are food-related.  They want recipes for the best apple pie, soup, or chocolate chip cookie.

I thought about submitting for that last one, but "Go to the supermarket and buy those little squares" didn't seem like it would be met with much enthusiasm.

Still, I don't begrudge them for keeping things culinary.  I like reading recipes as much as the next person who doesn't do any cooking but watches Food Network for hours at a time.

(Anyone?)

The trouble is, this week, they seem to be asking people to take something simple and talk about how to overcomplicate it.

They're looking for grilled cheese recipes.

Now, as someone who doesn't cook, please feel free to correct me here, but is there a wrong way to make grilled cheese?

Isn't it pretty cut and dry?

Bread, cheese, pan, and plate?

What sort of recipes could one have for that?

Just out of curiosity I went on Google, and found out that there are, in fact, many ways to complicated grilled cheese.  Some cook's recipes have about seventeen steps.

Not to rain on anyone's cheese parade, but isn't one of the perks of grilled cheese that it isn't difficult to make?

So I will not be submitting my grilled cheese recipe to Open Salon, but I will suggest, or rather request, that they not ask for future submissions regarding scrambled eggs or microwave popcorn.

I'm already aware that I'm not much of a cook.

I don't need to find out that I could be cooking the food I already can cook better than I do.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some cookies to make.

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