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The New Free Credit Report.Com Band

When Free Credit Report.com announced a contest looking for the world's newest most annoying band, I honestly thought they'd never be able to find one.

I mean, how exactly does a band go about deciding that they want to be the face of a credit report website?

I'd imagine it goes something like this:

LEAD SINGER: Hey guys, can I, uh, talk to you about something?

DRUMMER: Sure Lead Singer, what's up?

LEAD SINGER: Um, have you guys heard of Free Credit Report.com?

BASS PLAYER: Yeah, isn't that the commercial with the annoying band?

LEAD SINGER: Well, yeah, kind of, um--

DRUMMER: Oh my God, yeah. Those commercials were awful.

LEAD SINGER: Well, they're not--I mean, I wouldn't--

KEYBOARDIST: What happened to those guys? I haven't seen one of those commercials recently.

LEAD SINGER: Funny you mention that, because--

DRUMMER: Maybe they killed themselves. That would be appropriate.

BASS PLAYER: Ugh, they should be put on trial for being obnoxious.

LEAD SINGER: Guys, you know, they probably made a lot of money and--

KEYBOARDIST: Imagine if we had to do that? Write fake rap songs about credit scores?

DRUMMER: I'd rather get a prostate exam from a porcupine.

BASS PLAYER: I'd rather eat a prostate.

LEAD SINGER: Hey, what if we tried it? Just for fun, you know? Like as a goof? And then maybe I could, um, enter it, or something, into...something.

DRUMMER: I'd rather write a song for the Mean Girls 2 soundtrack.

BASS PLAYER: I'd rather write satanic verses into my arm using an exacto knife.

LEAD SINGER: Fine! We'll just keep playing Tito's on Burke Street while people talk over us and eat mozzarella sticks! Because that's sooo much more honorable! Fine! FINE!

Yeah, I'll bet it was something like that.

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