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Trump Trumps Sheen for Dumbest Quotes of the Month

After reading an interview with Donald Trump on ABC News, it seems that Charlie Sheen has some competition for dumbest quotes of the month.

Don't believe me?

When asked about the possibility that he would run for President, Trump started sounding off about the Middle East, President Obama, and how he gets along really well with poor people.

I'm not making that up, he actually says--

"You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people"

When does this man even come in contact with poor people? Is he talking about Star Jones on Celebrity Apprentice?

"I mean, part of the beauty of me is that I'm very rich. So if I need $600 million, I can put $600 million myself. That's a huge advantage."

He's basically saying--Watch me buy this election. Isn't that an advantage? That I can just buy the whole damn thing and not even pretend I'm not? Isn't that awesome?

As to whether or not he feels that being on a bad reality show will somehow disqualify him as a viable candidate for the most prestigious job in the country, he cites former President Reagan, who was a movie star, as one of our greatest Presidents.

1) I take issue with that opinion, but aside from that--

2) There's a big difference between a movie star and a reality tv caricature, which is basically what Trump has become.

What would he do about piracy?

"Give me an admiral and a couple of ships and [I'll] wipe them out of the sea so fast."

Yes, I'm sure it's that simple. I can't believe nobody's thought of that.

Is he under the impression that all the pirates live on some magical ship in Never Never Land and all we have to do is go blow them up? Is Peter Pan going to be his Secretary of State?

As for his controversial stance as a birther (someone who believes President Obama wasn't actually born here)--

"Everybody that even gives a hint of being a birther … even a little bit of a hint, like, gee, you know, maybe, just maybe this much of a chance, they label them as an idiot. Let me tell you, I'm a really smart guy."

Gee, um, maybe, I don't know, it's, um, I disagree--with all of the above.

He wasn't any nicer to his Republican colleagues.

My favorite quote was regarding John Huntsman--

"He sent me a beautiful Christmas card. I don't know him."

Trump even applies his double-speak to the newly crowned soundbyte King--Charlie Sheen.

"I think he's wonderful, but he's a disaster."

Surprisingly, it wasn't all that infuriating reading Trump's view on things, because it was a little bit like listening to your ornery old grandfather or next door neighbor. The difference is my grandfather doesn't have the money to run for President, and that makes Trump a lot scarier.

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