Skip to main content

The Greatest Boxing Film of All Time

This Summer...

JOEY: I don't know if I can win this match.
CAPPY: You gotta, Joey. You gotta. Your Mama's counting on you.
JOEY: No, you don't understand Cappy. My Mama's the one I'm fighting.

The Biggest Fight of His Life...

MA: You know when we step into that ring, I'm not your mother anymore.
JOEY: Who are you then?
MA: I'm the @#$% who's @$#$ your #$%.
JOEY: Geez, I didn't know you could swear like that in movie trailers.
MA: I told you, it's called a mobile home.
JOEY: Huh?

...Is the Mother of All Matches

CAPPY: You gotta take her out.
JOEY: But she's my Mom.
CAPPY: And I'm your trainer!
JOEY: She gave birth to me!
CAPPY: I stitched up your eyebrow!
JOEY: I was literally carried around inside of her for months!
CAPPY: I held ice up against your broken lip!

Don't Miss

JOEY: I don't know if I can do this, Ma.
MA: Don't worry, Joey. You won't have to do anything but lie there while I stomp on your face.
JOEY: You're the best Mom, ever.
MA: Don't I #$% know it?

Mama in the Ring

MA: This is going to hurt you more than it...Well, actually, it's probably just going to hurt you.

Coming Soon

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A List of People Who Can Go to Hell Now That I Can't Have Elizabeth Warren

So today was a rough day for everybody who isn't a @#$%-ing #$%hole. Let's just start there. If that upsets you, by all means, go straight to hell. This entire rant is going to be exactly what it sounds like. I am mad and I am going to exercise my right to BLOG ABOUT IT LIKE IT'S 1995, SO BUCKLE UP, BUTTERCUP. I really don't even know where to start, so let's just jump right in with the first person who comes to mind. Bloomberg, go to hell.  You really didn't have anything specific to do with today, but you can just go to hell for spending an ungodly amount of money on literally nothing.  I mean, you could have lit millions of dollars on fire and at least warmed the hands of the homeless, but instead, you made tv stations across the country that are already owned by Conservatives rich, so kudos to you and go to hell. Amy Klobuchar, I STUCK UP FOR YOU AMY.  I got into FIGHTS on SOCIAL MEDIA while DEFENDING your sorry, self-interested ass.  You know ...
42 comments
Read more

Theater and the Outbreak

After last week's interview, a representative from a theater that recently experienced the results of opening too soon reached out to speak with me. I want to thank this person for coming forward in the hopes that it'll change some minds about what's safe and what isn't when it comes to the performing arts. Here's the interview: ME:  So this wasn't a full production or-- THEM:  No. It was us trying to do a little something for friends and donors. ME:  Who is 'us?' THEM:  The board of _____. ME:  And how long have you been on the board? THEM:  Three years. ME:  What was this going to be? THEM:  There's a, uh, beautiful park here in town, and we wanted to do an outdoor performance of a Shakespeare as a benefit, because, as you know, theaters are having a hard time right now paying the bills. We checked with the local government and the health department for the state to make sure we were doing everything the way we needed to in order to keep everyon...
7 comments
Read more

The Community and The Hypnotist

  Two years ago, I started interviewing people in the theater world about the problems within that community. All the subjects of the interviews remained anonymous to encourage people to speak directly and plainly without worrying that there would be consequences down the line. (Of course, even then, some people felt like outing themselves and getting in hot water, but we're going to leave that water under another bridge.) When I decided it was time to bring the series to a close, it was partly because I thought it had run its course, and partly because I had a new topic I wanted to tackle. While I've had my issues with theater and the people who do it, I've never felt like I didn't belong there, whereas from the moment I came out, I've never truly felt like a part of the gay community. To be clear, that probably has way more to do with me than the community, but it's something I wanted to explore, and I knew how I wanted to do it. The theater interviews were al...
Post a Comment
Read more