I know you probably read the title of this post, and thought this was going to be about how I was terrible at sports as a kid (which I was) and how now I feel distanced from it. Perhaps you think this is about the gay community vs. sports, or arts vs. sports, or Monopoly addicts vs. sports--
--But you're wrong.
This is all about not wanting to share.
Growing up, I remember watching my father get excited whenever a football or baseball game would be on, and I'd ask--
Why doesn't Rhode Island have a baseball or a football team?
Then he'd explain to me that all of New England shares the Patriots, and Rhode Islanders tend to cheer for the Boston Red Sox.
In my young (but-still-in-love-with-profanity) mind, I thought--
F**k that.
I had no intention of cheering for a hand-me-down team, or another city's team just because it was geographically close to where I was.
I wanted my own team, and not the Pawsox either--otherwise known as the Red Sox's watered-down sidekick.
(Keep in mind, I was the snobby kid who wouldn't drink the store brand soda.)
Pretty soon, people who cheered for these teams seemed, to me, to be like the annoying kid at the party who invited himself there.
They don't want us, you guys!--I'd want to yell.
As for the Patriots, the whole situation seemed even more repugnant.
I didn't want to share something with Connecticut. I didn't want to share anything with Connecticut. Connecticut and I were never going to be on the same side about anything--not even football.
That left me no choice, but to pursue a life in the theater.
Sometimes I wonder...
If there were a team like the Rhode Island Reds or the Providence Punishers (or maybe the Providence Porcupines, that sounds more adorable) would I be sitting in a bar somewhere, chewing on beer nuts, and screaming about the offensive line?
(Probably not.)
But then again, you never know.
--But you're wrong.
This is all about not wanting to share.
Growing up, I remember watching my father get excited whenever a football or baseball game would be on, and I'd ask--
Why doesn't Rhode Island have a baseball or a football team?
Then he'd explain to me that all of New England shares the Patriots, and Rhode Islanders tend to cheer for the Boston Red Sox.
In my young (but-still-in-love-with-profanity) mind, I thought--
F**k that.
I had no intention of cheering for a hand-me-down team, or another city's team just because it was geographically close to where I was.
I wanted my own team, and not the Pawsox either--otherwise known as the Red Sox's watered-down sidekick.
(Keep in mind, I was the snobby kid who wouldn't drink the store brand soda.)
Pretty soon, people who cheered for these teams seemed, to me, to be like the annoying kid at the party who invited himself there.
They don't want us, you guys!--I'd want to yell.
As for the Patriots, the whole situation seemed even more repugnant.
I didn't want to share something with Connecticut. I didn't want to share anything with Connecticut. Connecticut and I were never going to be on the same side about anything--not even football.
That left me no choice, but to pursue a life in the theater.
Sometimes I wonder...
If there were a team like the Rhode Island Reds or the Providence Punishers (or maybe the Providence Porcupines, that sounds more adorable) would I be sitting in a bar somewhere, chewing on beer nuts, and screaming about the offensive line?
(Probably not.)
But then again, you never know.
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