I've noticed myself using a particular phrase a lot lately.
"I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested."
A few years ago, a phrase like this--filled with cynicism and apathy--would have sent me into a tear about compassion and understanding.
Now, I see it as a survival mechanism.
Having worked with the public for over ten years now, I'm astounded at the amount of people who want to share personal information with you.
I'm not talking about the occasional down-on-their-luck person who just needs someone to talk to and unintentionally unburdens themselves.
I'm talking about someone who willingly dispenses the intimate details of their family life, relationship, etc. simply because you're standing in front of them.
You'd be amazed (unless you've worked in customer service) at some of the things people offer up without thinking twice about it.
When I first started my job, I'd try to find a polite way to let these people know that what they were doing was making me uncomfortable. I wouldn't say I'm an intensely private person (obviously, I'm blogging, aren't I?) but I was raised to believe you keep certain personal information in check--especially when it comes to total strangers.
So, as mean as this may sound, I just find people who don't distasteful.
And, admittedly, I've stopped being polite about it.
Rather than try to nod and smile and steer the conversation towards something suitable for being discussed in public, I just say--
"I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested."
Most people look as if I've slapped them across the face, probably because we're now taught that we should be rewarded every time we open ourselves up to anybody in our vicinity. I think communication and openness is great, but you can't foist it on people.
What makes anyone think I would want to hear about a restraining order their daughter has against them? Or why their marriage failed? Or what they've been arrested for?
I realize that nowadays with Facebook and Twitter and blogging, it's easier to share things than ever, but perhaps people need to think about what it is they're sharing.
"I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested."
A few years ago, a phrase like this--filled with cynicism and apathy--would have sent me into a tear about compassion and understanding.
Now, I see it as a survival mechanism.
Having worked with the public for over ten years now, I'm astounded at the amount of people who want to share personal information with you.
I'm not talking about the occasional down-on-their-luck person who just needs someone to talk to and unintentionally unburdens themselves.
I'm talking about someone who willingly dispenses the intimate details of their family life, relationship, etc. simply because you're standing in front of them.
You'd be amazed (unless you've worked in customer service) at some of the things people offer up without thinking twice about it.
When I first started my job, I'd try to find a polite way to let these people know that what they were doing was making me uncomfortable. I wouldn't say I'm an intensely private person (obviously, I'm blogging, aren't I?) but I was raised to believe you keep certain personal information in check--especially when it comes to total strangers.
So, as mean as this may sound, I just find people who don't distasteful.
And, admittedly, I've stopped being polite about it.
Rather than try to nod and smile and steer the conversation towards something suitable for being discussed in public, I just say--
"I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested."
Most people look as if I've slapped them across the face, probably because we're now taught that we should be rewarded every time we open ourselves up to anybody in our vicinity. I think communication and openness is great, but you can't foist it on people.
What makes anyone think I would want to hear about a restraining order their daughter has against them? Or why their marriage failed? Or what they've been arrested for?
I realize that nowadays with Facebook and Twitter and blogging, it's easier to share things than ever, but perhaps people need to think about what it is they're sharing.
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