Skip to main content

Paris Is Burning

It's been awhile since I've checked with GQ to see what style trends I should be keeping up with this winter.

Luckily for me, GQ went to Paris and came back with a whole roster of looks that we'll be seeing here in the States any day now.

Here are my thoughts:

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=1

- First off, what's a Kryptonian man? Is it a man who can beat Superman in an arm-wrestling match?

- The name Mugler is adorable. Points for that.

- The pants look like what you would wear to a circle jerk in the 1970's.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=2

- Adrien Brody meets crime-solving English professor.

- This look is so French, when you buy it, the salesperson is required to insult your cheekbones.

- There are actually seventeen more layers you can't see in the photo. It's the male version of corsetting.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=3

- If you look at this photo for two long, you'll be rendered sterile.

- It's not just a jacket, it's an optical illusion.

- If you wear this outfit in non-progressive countries, they're legally obligated to shoot you and whatever goat is closest to you.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=4

- Isn't this what you're supposed to wear if you do battle with Tron?

- The in-thing to do is gain two hundred pounds, have the pants fitted, lose the weight, then keep wearing the pants.

- Are we sure we want to wear anything that can be described as NASA-esque? What would you call this look? The Challenger? (Too soon? If it is, I'll just make the joke again in ten years.)

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=5

- Finally! Something that says "fashionable Communism."

- He almost didn't make it to the runway. It takes longer than you'd think to skin a moose.

- For me, there's just not enough fur around the face. I want my entire face covered with fur. Just staple a cat to my forehead and call it a day.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=6

- I'll tell you one thing: Annie Lennox has never looked better.

- Is Annie wearing grey sweatpants under that trench coat? Because if that's Paris fashion, I'm moving to Paris.

- Love the serial-killer-orange gloves. LOVE them.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=7

- It's like Humphrey Bogart in The Maltese Falcon meets Highlander. I can almost hear the seedy noir bagpipes.

- You know how when you get dressed up, and you're almost ready to go, and then you think to yourself--You know what this outfit could use? A skirt! It's like that.

- This is part of Jean Paul Gaultier's Career Day line. What career would this be? Gender Confused Gumshoes?

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=9

- I guess he ran out of pattern? I mean, it's understandable. God knows "peacock" is in demand.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=11

- Hipsters + All Denim + Tam = Sex-Ma-chine

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=13

- Slowly, ever so slowly, Crispin Glover began to disappear into the night...

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=14

- I know you're upset about him killing the Shaggy Dog to make this outfit, but keep in mind, he used every part of the dog.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=15

- This look was inspired by Doctor Zhivago if Doctor Zhivago had taken place in 2048 and was the story of a gay taxidermist who falls in love with a robot drag queen.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=16

- Do I really need to say anything?

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=17

- I really don't see anything unusual about this outfit aside from the galoshes, the electric blue jacket, or the sensible gray dress he's wearing underneath it. I would wear this to Cumberland Farms, or maybe to a swingers party where you have to come dressed like George Jetson's gay nephew.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=18

- I gotta tell you, I still abhor their politics, but those Hitler Youth sure are dressing snazzier these days.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=20

- It's the weirdest thing: My top half is freezing, but my legs are ON FIRE!

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=21

- After my brother's wedding, I'm going to a tailgating party and then to a rave in West Hollywood.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=23

- When he's not modeling, this guy stands on a cliff and directs ships into port.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=24

- Man, those shoes are great. I just can't focus on anything else but the shoes. Who even notices the bug mask or the half-shirt or the pointy scales sticking up all over the outfit? Not this guy.

http://www.gq.com/fashion-shows/F2012/paris/gq-paris-fashion-week-vibes-coverage-show-reviews#slide=25

- I hope you don't mind the bag. I didn't have time to bury the hooker before I came here.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A List of People Who Can Go to Hell Now That I Can't Have Elizabeth Warren

So today was a rough day for everybody who isn't a @#$%-ing #$%hole. Let's just start there. If that upsets you, by all means, go straight to hell. This entire rant is going to be exactly what it sounds like. I am mad and I am going to exercise my right to BLOG ABOUT IT LIKE IT'S 1995, SO BUCKLE UP, BUTTERCUP. I really don't even know where to start, so let's just jump right in with the first person who comes to mind. Bloomberg, go to hell.  You really didn't have anything specific to do with today, but you can just go to hell for spending an ungodly amount of money on literally nothing.  I mean, you could have lit millions of dollars on fire and at least warmed the hands of the homeless, but instead, you made tv stations across the country that are already owned by Conservatives rich, so kudos to you and go to hell. Amy Klobuchar, I STUCK UP FOR YOU AMY.  I got into FIGHTS on SOCIAL MEDIA while DEFENDING your sorry, self-interested ass.  You know ...
42 comments
Read more

Theater and the Outbreak

After last week's interview, a representative from a theater that recently experienced the results of opening too soon reached out to speak with me. I want to thank this person for coming forward in the hopes that it'll change some minds about what's safe and what isn't when it comes to the performing arts. Here's the interview: ME:  So this wasn't a full production or-- THEM:  No. It was us trying to do a little something for friends and donors. ME:  Who is 'us?' THEM:  The board of _____. ME:  And how long have you been on the board? THEM:  Three years. ME:  What was this going to be? THEM:  There's a, uh, beautiful park here in town, and we wanted to do an outdoor performance of a Shakespeare as a benefit, because, as you know, theaters are having a hard time right now paying the bills. We checked with the local government and the health department for the state to make sure we were doing everything the way we needed to in order to keep everyon...
7 comments
Read more

The Community and The Hypnotist

  Two years ago, I started interviewing people in the theater world about the problems within that community. All the subjects of the interviews remained anonymous to encourage people to speak directly and plainly without worrying that there would be consequences down the line. (Of course, even then, some people felt like outing themselves and getting in hot water, but we're going to leave that water under another bridge.) When I decided it was time to bring the series to a close, it was partly because I thought it had run its course, and partly because I had a new topic I wanted to tackle. While I've had my issues with theater and the people who do it, I've never felt like I didn't belong there, whereas from the moment I came out, I've never truly felt like a part of the gay community. To be clear, that probably has way more to do with me than the community, but it's something I wanted to explore, and I knew how I wanted to do it. The theater interviews were al...
Post a Comment
Read more