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Throwing Up, or Things I Won't Do Even When I Should

A little over a week ago, I got very ill while on a day trip, and felt like I was going to throw up.

So I did what I normally do when this happens:

I took whatever medication I could get my hands on that would prevent me from vomiting.

As you can imagine, when you have a stomach bug, and your body is desperately trying to rid itself of the bug, and you refuse to let it, a sort of Civil War emerges in your digestive system that feels about as bad as it sounds.

Some would argue it's worse than just throwing up and getting it out of your system.

But I disagree.

Throwing up is perhaps my least favorite thing, action, noun, experience, etc. in the entire world.

A few non-exaggerations:

I would rather get bit by a small dog than throw up.
I would rather get hit by a small car than throw up.
I would rather eat something out of a Hoarder's fridge as long as I was promised that it wouldn't make me throw up.

I loathe throwing up.

I.Loathe.It.

Every time I've ever thrown up (maybe less than five times in my life, such is the level of my determination) I've had to shower for at least an hour (the water goes cold, but that just helps punish my body for disobeying me) and then I sleep for three days.

This, again, is not an exaggeration.

I become so repulsed by myself that I have to sleep until I can pretend the entire experience was a dream.

There's also weeping, cursing, screaming, and occasionally a goat gets slaughtered, but that's only if I'm handling it well.

Otherwise, things get out of hand.

I realize that I should just get over this irrational hatred I have over what is basically my body trying to protect me from harm, but I look at this way:

There are many ways for things to leave my body. There are pores. There are hair follicles. There's the possibility that something will just linger and die inside of me somewhere near my kidney.

There's no reason whatever it is that doesn't belong there needs to be vomited up, and the sooner my body learns that, the better.

In the meantime, that's what Pepto is for, or as I refer to it--

My Special Friend.

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