Skip to main content

When Food Shopping Goes Wrong

I had a plan this week for my food shopping.

Martha Stewart's Everyday Food--a magazine I'm obsessed with--had an issue lately that offered five nights of meals for only $50 worth of ingredients.

So, I decided to go to the market, spend the fifty bucks, and make each of the meals.

What a great way to save money and try new food!

...If you're a normal person.

If you're me, here's what happens.

The first stop on the list is produce.

First, I'm supposed to get a yellow onion.

But I can only find a bunch of yellow onions. Do I buy the bunch? Also, I don't really like yellow onions. Is the yellow onion essential?

I decide to move onto the next item on the list.

One head of iceberg lettuce.

Now, I don't mind iceberg lettuce, but it always seems to me like recipes call for iceberg lettuce, use a third of it, and then the rest of it ends up sitting in your crisper going to waste, because iceberg lettuce has no flavor and I never feel compelled to use it and so why--

Moving on.

One pound of Yukon Gold potatoes.

Do they need to be Yukon Gold? I couldn't find Yukon Gold. Is the gold part important or the Yukon? Are Yukon Gold potatoes made by actually Yukons? I keep picturing Dudley Do-Right.

Now I start looking at the actual recipes to see what I can substitute.

I decide the first meal Chili-Braised Pork with Sides--will take too long to cook, because by this point I've been in the market for an hour, and I'm starving.

Plus I don't like the sides--sweet potatoes and green beans.

Does that mean I don't need to buy sweet potatoes and green beans or are they used in other things as well? Is that the trick to this $50 week? Am I going to be eating a combination of pork, Yukon potatoes, and yellow onions all week?

Pretty soon I was having a nervous breakdown right in front of the radishes, so I decided to call it quits and buy ten boxes of pasta, a few blocks of cheese, and Ben and Jerry's caramel-whatever-punny-name-it-is ice cream.

I learned that when it comes to food--and food shopping--sometimes it's best to splurge a little.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A List of People Who Can Go to Hell Now That I Can't Have Elizabeth Warren

So today was a rough day for everybody who isn't a @#$%-ing #$%hole. Let's just start there. If that upsets you, by all means, go straight to hell. This entire rant is going to be exactly what it sounds like. I am mad and I am going to exercise my right to BLOG ABOUT IT LIKE IT'S 1995, SO BUCKLE UP, BUTTERCUP. I really don't even know where to start, so let's just jump right in with the first person who comes to mind. Bloomberg, go to hell.  You really didn't have anything specific to do with today, but you can just go to hell for spending an ungodly amount of money on literally nothing.  I mean, you could have lit millions of dollars on fire and at least warmed the hands of the homeless, but instead, you made tv stations across the country that are already owned by Conservatives rich, so kudos to you and go to hell. Amy Klobuchar, I STUCK UP FOR YOU AMY.  I got into FIGHTS on SOCIAL MEDIA while DEFENDING your sorry, self-interested ass.  You know ...

Theater and the Outbreak

After last week's interview, a representative from a theater that recently experienced the results of opening too soon reached out to speak with me. I want to thank this person for coming forward in the hopes that it'll change some minds about what's safe and what isn't when it comes to the performing arts. Here's the interview: ME:  So this wasn't a full production or-- THEM:  No. It was us trying to do a little something for friends and donors. ME:  Who is 'us?' THEM:  The board of _____. ME:  And how long have you been on the board? THEM:  Three years. ME:  What was this going to be? THEM:  There's a, uh, beautiful park here in town, and we wanted to do an outdoor performance of a Shakespeare as a benefit, because, as you know, theaters are having a hard time right now paying the bills. We checked with the local government and the health department for the state to make sure we were doing everything the way we needed to in order to keep everyon...

My Favorite Podcasts

During this pandemic, I've finally gotten through most of my podcast backlog, and since a bunch of people were sharing their podcast lists last month, I thought I'd join in. I'm not going to give descriptions of each one, but I'll clarify why some are favorites of mine. 10 Things That Scare Me Adulting - Admittedly I don't really like live episodes of podcasts let alone podcasts that are mostly live, but this one is an exception. Against the Rules with Michael Lewis All Songs Considered Articles of Interest Asian Enough Broken Record The Butterfly Effect with Jon Ronson - No new episodes for awhile, but sooo interesting. Cautionary Tales - Absolutely incredible Code Switch Come Through with Rebecca Carroll - Some of the best interviews you'll hear from the past few months The Daily - I go back and forth on this one because the New York Times is so problematic, but very few podcasts does what this one does as well as it does it Dead Eyes - If you're an actor,...