Why Do We Even Need This #$&%-ing Report?

“He made a recommendation, but regardless of recommendation, 

I was going to fire Comey, knowing there was no good time to do it. 

And in fact when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said, you

 know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made-up story. 

It's an excuse by the Democrats for having lost an election that

 they should have won.”

Okay, so....

I’m not the only one who’s been beating this drum like a maniac, 

but it bears repeating--

Why the #$% do we need a #$%-ing report to determine whether 

or not there was obstruction?

We have...a tape.

An actual tape.

Broadcast to the world.

Where the President...admits to #$%-ing obstruction.

Now.

I get that right now, his cronies are trying to have their cake and 

eat it too with a simultaneous “He didn’t commit obstruction” and

 “He CAN’T commit obstruction because he’s the President” 

party, but we, as people who capable of f#$%-ing logic, should

 be able to shoot down at least one of those f*&#$&-ing arguments

 without much effort.

When it comes to whether or not the President can commit a 

crime, the answer is--

NIXON YOU F&*#%-ING MORONS.

Yes.

Yes, the President can commit a crime.

We don’t EVER want to suggest that somebody with that much

 f#$%-ing power is also INVINCIBLE AND IMMUNE FROM 

PROSECUTION.

Gee, what could go wrong?

Why don’t we just give the nuclear codes to Lex F&#$&%-ing

 Luther?

Right now, thousands of journalists are poring over nearly five

 hundred f**#$&-ing pages of a report that WE DON’T EVEN 

NEED!

Think about what would happen if the rest of the law worked

 this way.

“Hey Detective, Bad Guy just confessed to the murder and we

 found this tape of him dumping the body off a bridge.”
“Hmmm, maybe we should still spend two years looking into it.”

CAN YOU F#$&%-ING IMAGINE?

How have we gotten to this place?

Right now, my Newsfeed is littered with Mother Jones and 

Buzzfeed and Vox holding up tidbits of the f#$%-ing report shouting--

“Hey, this looks like a crime!”

HE’S RESPONSIBLE FOR CHILDREN IN CAGES.

HE WENT ON THE AIR AND ASKED RUSSIA TO HACK 

HIS OPPONENT.

HE’S DOING ALL THIS IN PLAIN SIGHT AND YOU’RE 

PICKING THROUGH HIS GARBAGE LOOKING FOR A 

SMOKING GUN?

And I don’t mean a metaphorical smoking gun.

I mean, I think, at this point, we would actually need to find

 the smoking gun he used to shoot democracy with before 

we’d get anywhere.

He is a criminal.

He is a crook.

He is a disgusting human being.

And if all this is just the stuff we KNOW about, chances are,

 there’s even worse shit that we DON’T know about and aren’t

 in that f#$%-ing report.

Or maybe it is but it’s been redacted, because the investigation

 is over, but apparently it’s not, but it is, but they’re not finished, 

but everything’s fine, but now we’re living in Black Mirror and

 not even one of the better episodes.

We have been dropped into Bandersnatch and our remote

 isn’t working so Netflix is making all the choices for us.

When all the interns at the Daily Beast are done tearing 

apart that report--

What exactly is the endgame?

Like, we are combing through haystacks looking for needles,

 while the GOP stands off to the side, ACTUALLY F#*$&%-ING

 LAUGHING at how hard we’re working, because no matter 

what we find, NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

And isn’t me saying we SHOULDN’T be doing the work, but

 there seems to be this undertone suggesting that there’s 

some light at the end of the tunnel involving, like, evidence, 

or proof of something.

We have evidence.

We have proof.

You want a light?

Here’s a light.

NOVEMBER 2020.

That’s our light.

Work on that light.

Focus on that light.

This motherf#$^er is not going anywhere so long as we only

 control one half of Congress and nothing else.

Those a##holes are so out of their f&#$-ing minds that they’re

 willing to suggest that the PRESIDENT should be able to commit 

as many crimes as he wants and only AFTER he’s out of office

 should he be prosecuted for it.

Doesn’t that sound fun?

And by fun I mean blood-chilling?

Everybody, seriously, donate to a Democrat.

I don’t care who it is.

Phone bank.

Volunteer.

Go door-to-door.

If we can get his approval numbers low enough, the Conservatives

 will devour him on their own in an effort to save themselves, and

 then he’ll turn on them, and we’ll have a real party on our hands, 

but first we need to do work that doesn’t involve searching a PDF

 for the word “collusion.”

Take whatever satisfaction you can out of this maddening situation,

 but after you do (or don’t, because satisfaction is something I 

haven’t felt since 2008), remember what the real work is and get back to it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I just got to the part in the report where 

he admits to setting an orphanage on fire and Senator McConnell

 decided that orphanages promote socialism so the President is a hero.

#ThoughtsAndPrayers