An Obscenity Fueled Diatribe About Impeachment And Why Everybody Needs to Shut the F*** Up Already

Before I begin, let me just say that this is not

a personal attack on any of my friends who

have posted their frustration with the Democrats 
bringing about impeachment.

What I mean by that is--

It’s not an INDIVIDUAL attack on any of them,

but just a...Just kind of a...

I just need to f***ing scream, okay? Is that
okay everybody? I just really need to get
a lot of stuff off my chest.

Okay, here we go--

First and foremost

IMPEACHMENT AND REMOVING A
PRESIDENT FROM OFFICE ARE NOT
THE SAME F***ING THING FOR THE
LOVE OF GOD JOHN OLIVER DID A
WHOLE F***NG SHOW ON IT THAT
YOU CAN WATCH BY CLICKING
ON THIS F***ING LINK:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxT8CM8XntA

NOBODY THINKS WE CAN REMOVE THIS F***ING IDIOT.  We would all LOVE THAT but nobody actually thinks it's possible.  That is not why anyone wants to impeach.

People want to impeach because the President broke the f***ing law and the only way to truly hold him accountable is to impeach him so we can have a full inquiry and use the full extent of congressional power against him.

Now--some of you have said you wished the Democrats had done that sooner.

Yeah, a lot of us do, but here's the problem:

IT'S CALLED F***ING NUMBERS.

As in--until these last mid-terms, Democrats controlled LITERALLY NOTHING.  No branch of government.  No house of Congress.  Zip.

And somehow, with the CONSIDERABLE help of activists, they managed to avoid having the entire f***ing world blow up.  Granted, things are pretty f***ing s****y right now, but abortion is still (mostly legal) and the KKK is only running sixty percent of the justice department instead of all of it so just GIVE THE DEMOCRATS A F***ING BREAK ALREADY.

Politics is a numbers game.  They didn't have the numbers until recently, and then when they did have them, they only BARELY had them, because the GOP f***ing gerrymandered the entire country so that most voting districts look like a pretzel from Auntie F***ing Anne's.

Most of the Democratic majority in the House hinges on a few swing districts where it's more likely than not that voters don't want impeachment so those Democrats were--UNDERSTANDABLY--a little hesitant to rock the boat and lose what little f***ing ground we have left.  Whether you think that makes them brave or not doesn't matter JUST YET BUT DON'T WORRY WE'LL GET THERE YOU F***ING PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW SAINTS.  It only matters that you understand where Nancy Pelosi is coming from, and where's she coming from is--

WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT FROM HER?

As someone who runs a theater company, I can totally sympathize with her.  She's got a bunch of wailing progressives from bluer-than-blue districts being like IMPEACH THE PRESIDENT!  FREE COLLEGE!  PUPPIES FOR EVERYONE! and then she's got the moderates being like SO HELP ME GOD NANCY IF I LOSE MY F***ING SEAT POTUS WILL PROBABLY START HANDING OUT GUNS TO TODDLERS and she has to keep BOTH of these groups happy and you're all acting like you don't get that WHEN I THINK YOU DO F***ING GET IT AND YOU JUST DON'T CARE.

Essentially, you've all been whining for the past few days that PEOPLE WHO THINK EXACTLY LIKE YOU AREN'T GETTING WHAT THEY WANT ****or***** JUST NOT GETTING IT FAST ENOUGH.

GIVE

MADAME

SPEAKER

A

F***ING

BREAK

Yes, the President has been breaking laws all along and yes, it seems like maybe now we can actually do something about it because it's so egregious we kind of f***ing have to and now--

SOME OF YOU ARE SAYING YOU DON'T WANT IT

ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?

I'm seeing a lot of--

This is going to rile up his base.

Hey, fun fact f***ers, that base is never UNRILED.

His supporters are racist, sexist, homophobic, cousin-f***ing, spineless, passive aggressive, banjo-strumming, Ted Nugent-loving a**holes.

They are NEVER not RILED UP.

These are the people who open beer cans using their foreheads.  They are ALWAYS at a f***ing ten.

Now, maybe you're worried about swing voters.

Repeat after me.

F*** THE SWING VOTERS.

These are the people who get off on how much attention we pay to them every election cycle, and all they do is betray us over and over again.

You know they're going to vote for POTUS next time.
You know they are.

They're fickle little cowards, so let them stay on that f***ing fence they're on and GALVANIZE YOUNG VOTERS INSTEAD.  FIGHT VOTER SUPPRESSION IN AREAS WHERE DISENFRANCHISED GROUPS ARE BEING HELD BACK FROM VOTING.  SET S*** ON FIRE.  I DON'T KNOW.  BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT F***ING SWING VOTERS.

And if you're saying 'Now all we're going to talk about is impeachment.  Nothing is going to get done.'

Oh yeah, because SO MUCH was getting done before this.

Congress was just CHURNING out legislation.

I can't even count the number of new bills that we've gotten since--

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F***ING MIND?

They're doing nothing.
NOTHING.

Mitch McConnell smothers to death anything that even LOOKS like it might want to become a law.

So why not do this?

At least it'll give us a little f***ing entertainment since right now all that can happen is the House passing a resolution so the Senate can turn it into little paper airplanes with machine guns on them and sell them to Saudi Arabia.

I get that some of you are feeling hopeless.

Believe me, I get it.

But please don't try to spread that hopelessness to other people.

If you don't have the fight in you, that's okay.  Really, it is.  But other people still want to fight, and you do NOT have the right to take the air out of anybody else's fight.

It's not about whether or not we can win.

It's not even about whether or not we can sort of win.

We fight because even if all it does is IMMENSELY IRRITATE the other side then that's a low enough bar for me!

What's the other option?

Let everybody bully us until 2020 in the hopes that by acting submissive and agreeable we'll maybe score another Senate seat?

F*** THAT.

Some of us have known FOR YEARS that there is a lot of power in being ANNOYING.

Annoying, snarky, sarcastic, downright rude people can actually get s*** done and even when we can't, we at least make the other side's life a living hell--and don't tell me that's not worth something.

And impeachment is worth something so that years from now we can tell future generations that we did SOMETHING about was going on.

That we didn't just take it, because "what was the point?"

In the words of a little book called "To Kill a"--F***ing--"Mockingbird" the definition of courage is "when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what."

So let's show a little f***ing courage and not worry so much about what the result is going to be since if 2016 showed us anything it's that we, collectively, are really f***ing bad at figuring out how anything is going to end ever.

And that's all I have to f***ing say about that.