The Emmy Nominations

We all have our version of self-care.

Mine is picking apart cultural awards.

Specifically the Oscar, Tony, and Emmy awards.

Never has there been a more interesting time to look at the Emmy awards, because we are not only going through a never-ending television Renaissance, but we've all been forced to watch more television than ever over the past few months.

So how did the Emmy awards do this year in terms of nominations?

Ummmmmmmmmmm...

Let's just dive in, shall we?

THE NOMINATIONS

Outstanding lead actor in a limited series or TV movie

Jeremy Irons ("Watchmen")

Hugh Jackman ("Bad Education")

Paul Mescal ("Normal People")

Jeremy Pope ("Hollywood")

Mark Ruffalo ("I Know This Much Is True")

-- You should know right now that any nominations for that garbage pile known as "Hollywood" are going to get lambasted by me any chance I get, buuuut that being said, I do think Jeremy Pope was the best part of the series, which...Can we finally get a ruling on how you know that a limited series is going to stay limited if it's a big hit? I never got the impression that "Hollywood" was going to be one season. Same for "Normal People." For me, I think Mark Ruffalo should take this, and also, while I'm complaining about rulings, can we get some criteria about how much you either are or aren't on a particular show to be considered a lead actor, because Jeremy Irons is wonderful, but not a lead in "Watchmen," although I'm thrilled for all the "Watchmen" love.

Outstanding lead actress in a limited series or TV movie

Cate Blanchett ("Mrs. America")

Shira Haas ("Unorthodox")

Regina King ("Watchmen")

Octavia Spencer ("Self Made")

Kerry Washington ("Little Fires Everywhere")

-- If Regina King doesn't win, I'm going to be furious, and I'm looking at you Cate Blanchett, even though I do think she belongs in the category.  I wasn't a fan of "Little Fires Everywhere" (read the book, yes, I'm that guy) and I felt like Kerry Washington and Reese were both just doing their usual yelling and crying routine, so I probably would have swapped Kerry out for Merritt Wever or Kaitlyn Dever for "

Outstanding lead actor in a comedy series

Anthony Anderson ("Black-ish")

Don Cheadle ("Black Monday")

Ted Danson ("The Good Place")

Michael Douglas ("The Kominsky Method")

Eugene Levy ("Schitt's Creek")

Ramy Youssef ("Ramy")

-- I cannot express to you how happy I am to see Ramy Youssef's name in this category.  And that...about does it?  Ted Danson and Eugene Levy need to be in the supporting categories, but they're not, because big names tend to go in leading categories where they have an easier time winning. Anthony Anderson at this point has become the name Emmy voters tick off even though I suspect most of them are not watching "Black-ish" anymore and because they love Don Cheadle, I'm guessing they rubber-stamped his performance in "Black Monday" even though I don't know a single person who's watching that show. Put in Dan Levy in place of his dad, and Nicholas Hoult from "The Great," Dave Burd from "Dave," and Andy Samberg from "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" in place of Anderson, Cheadle, and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT IS UP WITH "THE KOMINSKY METHOD" YOU GOTTA GO MICHAEL DOUGLAS.

Outstanding lead actress in a comedy series

Christina Applegate ("Dead to Me")

Rachel Brosnahan ("The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel")

Linda Cardellini ("Dead to Me")

Catherine O'Hara ("Schitt's Creek")

Issa Rae ("Insecure")

Tracee Ellis Ross ("Black-ish")

-- Say it with me now:  "Dead to Me" is not a Comedy. The performances are great. The writing is...eh.  (Twins? Really?)  And withing Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini taking up two spots, we could have Zoe Kravitz from "High Fidelity" and Maitreyi Ramakrishnan from "Never Have I Ever" in those two spots. Then I'd have Rachel Brosnahan sit this one out (It won't kill her) and give that spot to Hailee Steinfeld from "Dickinson" the nomination.  (And one more for Kristen Bell in "The Good Place" maybe?)  I'd also put Catherine O'Hara in supporting and put Annie Murphy in the leading spot. I know some people are salty about Pamela Adlon, but I've always had a hard time connecting to "Better Things," probably because it's just not my thing, and also because it's about a rich actress in Hollywood struggling to exist, and right now, that just seems kind of...unnecessary?  Hollywood loves it because it's about Hollywood, and it has its moments, for sure, but it always just leaves me feeling empty and definitely never makes me laugh. Can we go back to comedies that actually make you laugh? Can we?  Please?

Outstanding lead actor in a drama series

Jason Bateman ("Ozark")

Sterling K. Brown ("This Is Us")

Steve Carell ("The Morning Show")

Brian Cox ("Succession")

Billy Porter ("Pose")

Jeremy Strong ("Succession")

-- As soon as I saw all those "Succession" noms, I started weeping with relief that my favorite show will not continue "The Leftovers" trend of being brilliant and never getting love for it. If you're wondering if I'm conflicted because it's still a show full of white people, then yes, I am. I mean, it's premise is basically "Rich white people are the devil" but even still, it means a lot of white actors in these categories, and that is a problem, but only if you put STEVE CARELL and a TON OF OTHER WHITE GUYS FROM "THE MORNING SHOW" in other categories as well. I know exactly maybe five people who watch and enjoy "The Morning Show" and none of them think Steve Carell is a lead. Also, "Ozark" seems to be a crowd pleaser, but it's never really gotten great reviews either.  Billy Porter should also go in supporting (where he'd win, by the way).  I'd swap out Bateman and Porter for Asa Butterfield in "Sex Education" and Delroy Lindo for "The Good Fight."

Outstanding lead actress in a drama series

Jennifer Aniston ("The Morning Show")

Olivia Colman ("The Crown")

Jodie Comer ("Killing Eve")

Laura Linney ("Ozark")

Sandra Oh ("Killing Eve")

Zendaya ("Euphoria")

-- So "Killing Eve" is...not good.  Not anymore, at least.  And Jennifer Aniston, I love you so much, but you should not be in this category.  We've got way more deserving people. First off, Gillian Anderson in "Sex Education."  The other two I'd give to Audra McDonald and Christine Baranski for "The Good Fight."

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Giancarlo Esposito, Better Call Saul

Bradley Whitford, The Handmaid’s Tale

Billy Crudup, The Morning Show

Nicholas Braun, Succession

Kieran Culkin, Succession

Matthew MacFadyen, Succession

Jeffrey Wright, 

--

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Laura Dern, 

-- Sooooo many people to get rid of here.  Big love to Meryl, Laura, and Thandie, but it's just more rubber-stamping.  In their place, I'd like to see Aimee Lou Wood and Emma Mackey from "Sex Education" and Carol Kane from "Hunters."

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

-- Okay, where do we begin?  Swap out Alan Arkin for Manny Jacinto from "The Good Place."  Mahershala I am so torn on, because the Emmy awards do not know what to do when an actor gives a dramatic performance on a comedic show, and if it weren't for that, he'd win, no question.  We talked about swapping out Dan for Eugene, and I'd also swap out Kenan Thompson for Bowen Yang if we want to recognize SNL, even though I see no reason to. I'd also be fine swapping out Tony Shaloub for Ted Danson to make room in the Lead Actor category in Comedy.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

-- I love Betty Gilpin on "GLOW" but it's not a comedic performance. I'd swap her out for Poorna Jagannathan from "Never Have I Ever." D'Arcy Carden?  YES!!!!  We do not need double Maisel representation, and with Borstein already having won, let's swap her out for Jameela Jamil from "The Good Place." I also don't think we need anybody from SNL in here and if we do that, we can fit in Da'Vine Joy Randolph from "High Fidelity" and Melissa Fumero from "Brooklyn Nine-Nine."

All Other Categories

My remaining gripes are as follows--

- No Angelica Ross for Best Guest Actress in a Drama Series?  A crime.

- No "High Fidelity" for Best Comedy Series?  Insane.

- The Emmy awards better start forcing themselves to watch more television since the Netflix model of retiring shows after three or four years means they won't be able to cling to "Ozark" much longer.

Okay, that's it until I can have movies again sometime in 2025.