Since we all need to celebrate...something, I thought I'd become one of those people who go all in on Halloween this year.
That's why this month, all the fiction I post on my blog will be Halloween-themed ( www.thekevinbroccoliblog.blogspot.com). All my "Man About Town" column pieces in Motif Magazine will be scary and spooky and ooky dooky. And if you drive by my house, I'll throw plain M&M's at you from six feet away, but not the Peanut ones, because those are miiiiiiiine.
And I've spent the past few months acquiring some of the wildest scary theater stories I could find from all over the country.
First up, a story about a spirit who just loves to disrupt a performance.
Submitted for the approval of all four people reading this, I call this interview--
"The Tale of the Stranger at Rehearsal"
ME: How long had you been rehearsing the play?
THEM: This was in week two or three.
ME: Early on.
THEM: Yes.
ME: How big was the theater?
THEM: That's an important part of the story, because this was a big theater. That means there were always people coming in and out, because the Artistic Director was the director, and so people would come in and speak with him briefly and then leave. We also had designers coming in, other actors who worked at the theater, and this place had a very open door policy when it came to people stopping by and checking out what was going on.
ME: What was the layout of the theater like?
THEM: It was a big, space right in the downtown area, and because it was downtown, we would lock the doors to the theater once the box office closed. So if you were in the building, you would have had to have a key to get in, and that meant you were working in the building in some capacity.
ME: And there was a big staff.
THEM: Yes.
ME: How many people were at this rehearsal?
THEM: Strangely enough, I just have to mention this--The stage manager was out that night. She was sick. We had the ASM running rehearsal, who was nice, but who was--A little more reserved than our SM, which is not unusual for an ASM, you know.
ME: Right.
THEM: We had the ASM, the director, myself, and another actor.
ME: Okay.
THEM: There was a big thing going on at the theater that I don't want to talk about, because it doesn't really relate to this story, but it was kind of a--it was kind of a big problem for them, that they got taken care of, but at the time, it was all anybody was thinking about, and so it wasn't unusual for the director to have to step out and talk to somebody quickly, and if he did that, we would keep going and run things until he came back.
ME: It sounds like you're setting up a perfect storm.
THEM: It was. It was exactly that.
ME: So you don't have your SM and the Director has to step out a lot--
THEM: And we're running this scene, this very funny scene, and he gets a call, and he has to step out.
ME: Okay.
THEM: He's gone for a minute. One or two minutes. That's it. I thought--He would just step outside and talk in the hallway when he would step out. That's what we thought he was doing. We couldn't see outside into the hallway, because the rehearsal room only has the door and there's no window in the door so you couldn't look in or outside. It was a closed off room.
ME: And someone walks in.
THEM: A guy walks in. Young guy. Mid-twenties. He's wearing a black parka. He's got on black jeans.Work boots. The hood on the parka is up over his head. He's got scraggly facial hair. He sits down in one of the folding chairs near the door. The ASM is seated on the other end of the room. She seems him come in, but we're in the middle of the scene, and we think someone just came in to watch.
ME: Did the ASM say anything to him?
THEM: She said 'Hi.' He said 'Hi." Very friendly voice. Smiled at her. He asked if [Name of Director] was there. The ASM told him that he had just stepped out. Then he asks if he can wait for him, and so, she says 'Yes.' That's what makes sense to say, right?
ME: Right.
THEM: But me, and the other actor, and the ASM, we all give each other a look like--Something's not right about this guy.
ME: But what are you going to do?
THEM: What are we going to do? He knows the director's name. He asked for him. And the director is going to be back any second, so--Let's just keep going, right?
ME: And that's what you do?
THEM: We go back to running the scene. It's a funny scene, okay? But it's not--It's just us two saying funny lines at each other, and the guy starts laughing. He's laughing a lot. He's laughing loudly. You know, first we're a little bit relieved. Okay, the guy is nice. He's friendly. He's enjoying watching us. The tension starts to go out of the room that we felt when he first stepped in.
ME: Okay.
THEM: But he keeps laughing. And he's laughing in this way that, um--He's laughing at things that aren't even funny. Regular lines. 'What do you mean?' Big laugh. From his throat. There's something--really scary about it. How he starts to laugh at us. Because that's how it feels. Like he's laughing at us. It feels like he's mocking us.
ME: And it's consistent?
THEM: It never stops. He just laughs and laughs.
ME: Does the ASM do anything?
THEM: She looks frozen. We're all frozen. I'm stumbling over lines, because he's hysterical right now. He's cracking up, but really. He seems like he's losing it. When I stumble, he laughs even harder. The other actress and I, we're looking at the ASM like, 'What do we do?' He's sitting right by the door. You'd have to get by him. He's laughing and rubbing his hands. There's something about his hands. He's got gloves on. Those driving gloves that criminals wear when they're robbing a house. I didn't notice them at first, but now I keep looking over at them.
ME: What are you thinking?
THEM: Where is the director? I found out later the ASM was texting him under the table. Where are you? Someone is here to see you. Do you know who this could be?
ME: How much time is going by?
THEM: Felt like forever. The ASM said it was fifteen minutes.
ME: Fifteen minutes is a long time.
THEM: After--after the fifteen minutes, the ASM calls for a break. Tries to make it seem like we were due for one, but we all knew we weren't, and when she does that, the guy darts out the door.
ME: And then what?
THEM: The other actress says to the ASM 'Go lock the door.' And she was already up to do it before the actress even finished the sentence. We were all thinking the same thing. I didn't even know if we could lock the rehearsal door. She goes to the door and locks it. We sit there for a minute and talk about--You know, what WAS that? Then somebody's knocking on the door. Nobody moves. Then we hear the ASM's phone buzz, and it's the director. She lets him in. We tell him what happened.
ME: Was he expecting someone?
THEM: No. And there wasn't supposed to be anybody in the building.
ME: What?
THEM: People can be in the building, but he had gotten this phone call from the theater's lawyer, and he had walked all throughout the theater, and he said there was nobody in the theater, in the box office, in the shop--nowhere. All dark.
ME: How did the guy get in?
THEM: We all packed up our things and the director said--'We're all walking out together. Rehearsal is over.'
ME: Does the theater have a security guard?
THEM: Not when there isn't a show going on. But that changed after this.
ME: I bet it did.
THEM: We all walked out together, to our cars, the director gets on the phone with the police and they send two police officers to come check the place out.
ME: What did they find?
THEM: No forced entry anywhere. We had been the only people in the building since five o'clock that day. They went through the whole building and they could not find this guy. The building is alarmed. If he tried going out an emergency exit, it would have set off the alarm. They can see what doors people have come in and out of. There's no log of anyone coming in after five o'clock.
ME: Could he have come in while the building was open and just hid somewhere?
THEM: But how did he get out?
ME: Maybe the police didn't see him when they checked the theater and he snuck out again once the theater reopened?
THEM: It's possible, but where was he hiding? After the police left, the director and his husband went through and checked everywhere too. We told him that was stupid, but he wanted to do it, so they went over every inch of that building. They couldn't find any trace of him.
ME: And why was he asking for the director?
THEM: Yes! I know!
ME: You must have been so creeped out.
THEM: We were. We had security there from then on. They had to have a brand new policy about who could be in the building. There were sign-in sheets. All the locks got changed.
ME: It didn't seem like overkill?
THEM: It did to some people, but then tires started getting slashed outside the theater
ME: What?
THEM: A few days after this, everybody's tires got slashed.
ME: And you think it was related?
THEM: It was scary enough that nobody minded extra safety precaution after that.
ME: Was that the last thing that happened?
THEM: No.
ME: Okay.
THEM: We're doing the show one night. I think this is a Saturday night. I'm backstage, and the actress who was in the rehearsal with me comes running backstage and says 'He's here.' I go 'Who's here?' But, Kevin, I already know who she's talking about.
ME: The guy from rehearsal was there?
THEM: She didn't see him, but they were doing a scene, and again, not one of the funny scenes, and someone laughs. In the audience.
ME: Oh god.
THEM: And it's his laugh.
ME: No.
THEM: I go in the wings and see if it happens again. A couple minutes later, I hear it.
ME: What do you do?
THEM: I go to the stage manager and tell her what's happening. The ASM heard it too. We're all confirming it. But where is he? Is he in the audience? Is he at the back of the house? The stage manager starts doing the plan that they'd put in place, and the security guard comes in and starts checking out the audience, but everybody's laughing now, because it's towards the end of the play, and the ending is just bit after bit.
ME: #$%^.
THEM: Yes.
ME: How are you even performing at that point?
THEM: I don't know. I'm just trusting that the people who know what to do are doing it.
ME: Did they find the guy?
THEM: They had the police come. They had people--interns, whoever was around--at every exit. As the audience was leaving, me, the other actress, and the ASM were checking everybody out. We didn't see him.
ME: And you think you would have recognized him?
THEM: No doubt in my mind.
ME: Did anything ever happen after that?
THEM: That was the last thing as far as I know.
ME: Well, that'll give you nightmares forever.
THEM: It just makes you realize how vulnerable you are in some of these spaces. Theater is about having these places that are open forums and it was always so nice to see people coming in and out and being a part of the collaboration in that way, but then you see how that can be used against you if you're not careful.
ME: It's like how nobody ever realized how vulnerable they were in the shower until Psycho came out.
THEM: Exactly. Now when I work somewhere I ask them about safety and how they go about locking down their buildings, and they look at me like I'm crazy, so I tell them that story.
ME: I'm changing all the locks at my theater as we speak.
THEM: (Laughs.) Hey, it can't hurt.
Them is an actor, director, and a teacher at two universities.
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