One of my favorite shows this year so far has been WandaVision.
Subsequently, one of my least favorite parts about being on social media this year has been watching people react to WandaVision.
So I thought I'd rank how irritated I am by the various responses to the show.
Here we go--
People Who Actually Thought the First Two Episodes Were Going to Be What the Show Was Like the Entire Time
There is now a new litmus test for intelligence, and it's called--
Did you watch WandaVision and think the first two episodes were going to be what the show was like the entire time?
I guess the follow-up question would be--
Before you hopped on social media to complain about it, did you bother to Google the source material to find out you were wrong?
The fact that there are people in America who I am connected to on various digital platforms who are so bad at reading context clues they thought Marvel would spend millions of dollars and launch a content onslaught on a fairly new streaming service with a sitcom parody and nothing deeper is very disturbing to me.
People Who Might Have Figured Out It Wasn't Always Going to Be Like the First Two Episodes But Felt It Was Moving Too Slow
Can I ask you people something?
Do you have...something better to do?
Truly, like, do you have big plans in the midst of (and yes, we're in the midst, and not towards the end) a pandemic, to the point where a half hour show isn't moving fast enough for you and you'd really like it to go quicker.
It's like the people who complained that nobody got kicked off the first three weeks of Drag Race.
Kitten, don't you want to stretch this stuff out? I am one binge away from having no content left to watch, so I am fine with letting artists take their time in building something.
And it's not like nothing is happening.
Plenty was happening.
You just had to pay attention and not be on your phone the whole time the way some of you are when you're watching movies you then claim not to like because you were only giving them half your focus. That's a subset of this group, but it is an equally irritating subset.
People Who Are Complaining That They Have to Watch Other Things In Order to Get the Most Out of WandaVision
Folks, Marvel has now been around for over a decade.
If you've been living under a rock and you haven't heard about the MCU, then I don't know how you found out about WandaVision.
What's more--
I don't know why you would want to watch WandaVision if you've skipped every other Marvel movie.
What was it about this particular project that interested you if nothing else from this company has?
I'm actually thrilled that there's a show out there that rewards investment.
We used to beg for this kind of ambitious project years ago, and the argument was, you couldn't have it, because before streaming, it was too hard to catch up on something that required it for enjoyment.
Do you kids today realize that we used to have to start watching shows after hearing that they were good, and usually, by then, the show was probably halfway through its first season, and then, you had to wait for reruns to come around to catch up on what you missed, which meant you had to watch the whole thing out of order, and YOU HAD TO BE HOME WHEN IT ALL AIRED.
I got into General Hospital in junior high school, and I had to piece together clues to figure out what was going on after the show had already been on the air for forty years.
And I did it.
Happily.
Because it was fun.
It was fun to discover more about something I liked.
If I hadn't liked it, I wouldn't have watched it.
That's an option you have by the way.
If you don't like something, you can not engage with it and just leave it for the people who like it.
That might sound like gatekeeping, but being a fan shares a lot of similarities with being a good houseguest. Yes, the host should be welcoming, but you also shouldn't show up in the middle of a kitchen renovation and comment on how ugly the sink is.
That was how hard we used to work to love the things we loved. Now get off my porch, I'm tired and Diagnosis Murder is on Peacock.
People Who Ask "What's This About?" on Social Media
I've said this before, and I'll say it again--
Google.
Google It.
Your friends' comment section is not a search engine and they don't want to spoil the show for others by answering your questions about a show you're probably not even going to watch.
G-O-O-G-L-E.
I am so glad Facebook wasn't what it was back when Lost was on the air, because holy cow, I would have had to become one of those terrible people who delete their Facebook and then make a five-page post about it.
The MCU is one of the most ambitious and well-executed overarching cultural ventures that's even been undertaken and some of you want it to go faster, require less investment, and be interesting while still spoon-feeding you the entire time so you can tweet as you watch.
Get a grip.
And whatever you do, do not watch Twin Peaks.
Trust me, it'll only irritate you.
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