This Can't Be Broccoli

Top Ten from Worst to Best, here we go-- Megan Joy - Enough, the bitch needs to go. Scott MacIntyre - Borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring. Anoop Desai - I thought the vocals were good, but the song choice was a little eh.  Now that they get more time to perform, they really need to think about staying interesting.  Also, the "Ooohs" were a little awkward to me for some reason.  Just my opinion. Michael Sarver - Same as always--great vocals, mediocre performance.  This guy needs to figure out what distinguishes him from everybody else in the top ten.  My advice?  Go country.  It worked last week (disregard the bottom two bullshit, when you start thinking about your rank, you're in trouble) and it worked for Carrie Underwood.  Say it with me now--Yee haw. Kris Allen - I'm not sure how smart it is to perform what's known as a James Taylor song on Motown week.  That being said, I thought it was a great performance from him.  I like the extra enthusiasm he added to it.  I...

-- This week Kara and Randy pissed me off.  Randy hates country music because white people sing it, and as I've stated time and again, he's the most racist man in America.  The reason Kara gets on my bad list this week as well is because she and Randy seem determined to make people sing the same songs over and over again just to hear some money notes.  Money notes are terrific, but they're most often found in ballads, and if you make people sing nothing but ballads, the show goes from dull to boring to 'What's on CBS?'  I hated most of the advice they gave this week, but I actually liked most of the performances. -- From worst to best, here we go. Megan Joy - I don't care that she had the flu--what the fuck was that?  It sounded like "Alf Does Patsy Cline."  Yes, she's quirky, but quirky ain't going to make records fly off the shelves, sweetheart.  Why don't you just try singing?  (In case you didn't read my recaps last year, you sh...

This is a list of my favorite things as of March 15th 2009 1)   "In Times of Old."  I've ridiculed ER fairly often the past few years, and when they brought back Anthony Edwards in flashback form, I nearly vomited.  That being said, seeing George Clooney in scrubs again was a sweet walk down memory lane.  The fact that Julianna Margulies, Eriq La Salle and Noah Wyle were all in the episode too--along with Susan Sarandon working for that guest star Emmy--was just icing on the cake. 2)   Jackie Earle Haley in The Watchmen.   I've come to the determination that I will never be a fan of Watchmen .  I found the graphic novel to be disappointing, and the movie didn't solve what I perceived to be the problems of the book (casting Malin Ackerman didn't help), but I did love the opening set to Bob Dylan, and they could not have found a more perfect Rorshach.  The movie's not doing too well at the box office, but his performance should get attention long after the ...

Well, I'm back with my catty, bitchy commentary on American Idol.  I waited until they got to the big stage, because really, until then, what's the point?  From worst to best, here we go: Anoop Desai -  A bad Michael Jackson impersonation.  End of story.  (He's still my favorite, okay, really end of story.) Jasmine Murray - It was dull.  It was lifeless.  It wasn't relevant at all.  She did the old version with an ATTEMPT at the new vocals--an attempt which failed.  Before it was over, I was wishing for a medic to rush onstage and put the paddles on her chest.  And what was with the background?  Is Simon Fuller trying to bring back Laugh-In?  Confusing. Scott MacIntyre - Okay--let me just ask, does ANYBODY think this guy is going to win this competition?  Are the Claymates looking for another closeted boy who resembles Art Garfunkel and loves Jesus?  This is why I come in for the Top 13, that way I'm not influenced by anything but the big picture, and the big pictur...

Here is a list of my favorite things as of March 8th: 1)   The Housekeeper and The Professor by Yoko Ogawa.  So far, this is the best book I've read all year, and you can probably read it in one sitting.  It's a great story about a woman who cares for a math professor whose memory only lasts 88 minutes.  So yes, it's a little Memento, but very tenderly done. 2)   Rachel Maddow on The View .  Check it out on Youtube.  Smart, funny, and self-deprecating as always.  She was the anti-thesis to Ann Coulter.  She got everybody engaged in conversation, all the ladies looked like they were having a great time, and even Elisabeth complimented her.  Um, can we get her back as a guest host?  Please. 3)   The Rehearsal by Jean Anouilh .  So what's the best way to find plays you've never heard of?  Well, one way is to do what I decided to do this year.  Trinity Rep puts all the plays they've done--since the 60's--on their website, including the playwright and the person...

Today I realized I inherited one of my father's many awful quirks. He hates not being the boss. I never had a problem with being the boss until about a year ago.  My job was in jeopardy, and I got used to the idea that I might be out of work for awhile. As panicky as that was, it was also sort of liberating. Now, before I go any further, let me say that I am well-aware of the economic situation many unemployed people face, and how many people would love to have my job. I'm not complaining about the job itself, but the type of job it is; mainly the fact that I think I'm a person whose much better suited to either being independently employed or in a position where I can do my own thing and only have to check in with someone from time to time. I know what you're all going to say--Great Kev, while you're at it, why don't you shop for houses in Paradise? Still this is my rant, so feel free to stop reading, but otherwise, get onboard the bitch train with me and we ca...