This Can't Be Broccoli

"Snarky "    Adjective ° Snide and sarcastic; usually out of irritation; often humorously. We need to talk about snark It's become one of those words that I've always known, but never really used, until about a year ago, when it suddenly started pummeling its way into the national consciousness--or maybe just onto my Facebook wall. I've been called sarcastic before and it never really bothered me.  I've also been called a lot worse, and that sometimes bothered me.  I've never been called "snide" because I don't know any bootleggers and I'm assuming the last time the word "snide" was used was during the Prohibition era. The point is--I'm used to having unattractive labels placed on me, and I'll admit that usually when they are, I deserve them, but I take issue with the word "snarky"--and here's why. "Snarky" has now become the de facto word you use to criticize so...

Today I'm thrilled to see so many people with red Facebook pictures demonstrating their belief in marriage equality. Seeing all that red would normally make me start to believe that this is an indication of a changing tide.  In all actuality though, it might just mean that everyone I know is pretty awesome, but...let's face it, there are a lot of people I don't know. Facebook sometimes creates the illusion of a trend or a paradigm shift that isn't really happening simply because it causes an entire group of people to believe that everybody they know reflects the thoughts and opinions of the overall public. Okay, now I'm going to use a stupid example to prove this: Everybody on my Facebook Newsfeed talks about Smash.  As far as I can tell, most of the people I'm friends with watch it, and yet, it's season premiere got incredibly low ratings and it's continued to do poorly this entire season.  Normally, this would surprise me, but if I break the nu...

This seems to happen to me all the time. I post what I perceive to be an adorable little status that I'm super proud of--the same way a third grader might be proud when he makes his first q-tip snowscape. The status either contains a witty observation or a note of gratitude or just a statement about something I'm doing. And then who comes along to ruin it? The People Who Ruin My Life on Facebook They have to leave a comment that completely destroys the status you put up, and then you're faced with that awkward dilemma of deleting what they posted or leaving it up for the world to see. "Hey everybody, look at my status and then look at this hideous barnacle that attached itself to my status!" Here are a few examples of these jerks and what they do best: 1)  The Debbie Downers Status:  Such a beautiful day out.  Can't wait to hit the beach! Comment:  I wish I could go to the beach but it reminds me of when I was attacked by seagulls as a smal...

I know I'm a little behind on this, but it took awhile to compile a comprehensive list of all my favorite songs from 2012. For one thing, some of the songs I randomly started listening to throughout the year were not from 2012.  (Personally, this was the year of "Smoke from a Distant Fire" and "Young Hearts Run Free.") Plus, I didn't want to include one song from an album if the overall album was amazing and you should just listen to the whole thing from start to finish (P!nk, Emeli Sande, Chris Wallace, etc.) Lastly, and admittedly, I avoided some of the more obvious choices ("Somebody That I Used to Know," "Call Me Maybe," etc, because why beat a dead horse?) So here are the single stand-outs from 2012 in no particular order. Feel free to argue with me. 1.  "Anna Sun" Walk the Moon 2.  "2 Reasons" Trey Songz 3.  "Runaway" The Killers 4.  "I Ain't the Same" Alabama Shakes 5.  ...

I notice something as I'm getting older. A shower is no longer just a shower. Showers now have levels. There are varying degrees of showering. Allow me to explain: I now find that I no longer have the luxury of taking a "quick" shower. I mean, I can--I can take a quick shower, but it all depends on what I'm going to do that day. Am I just going to go to work and come home? Okay, quick shower. Am I going to do anything even mildly strenuous?  Am I going to be going to a formal function of any time?  During any point in my day, is there a chance I'm going to be feeling nervous or upset about anything? In that case, I need a full shower. I need a 100% shower. A 100% shower is one of those "I'm in here for the haul" showers.  The "stick it out until the water runs dry Boyz-II-Men shout-out" showers.  The "conserve water be damned I'm old and dirty" showers. I remember being a little kid, and being clean--...

If you happen to see the production of Jekyll and Hyde  that's currently playing at the Providence Performing Arts Center, you should consider playing the following drinking game.  Most of these rules, however, should work with whichever of the eighteen versions of the show you may see. Here's how it works: - Every time someone tells Dr. Jekyll his plan to separate good from evil is "crazy" take a drink. - Every time someone says he's playing a "dangerous game" take a drink.  Take two drinks when the song "Dangerous Game" happens after they've already said "dangerous game" a thousand times (Plan on being very drunk by the end of the game.  Also, plan on needing to be drunk.) - Every time something Constantine Maroulis goes from sing-to-shriek to the point where the lyrics are completely unintelligible, take a drink. - Every time Deborah Cox decides not to riff, and quietly breaks the heart of every gay man in the audienc...

I don't really drink, and by "don't really" I mean I never drink. Ever. And when you don't drink, people try pressuring you into drinking. For years, I looked for that glowing moment when something would happen to show me that not drinking all these years has been a good decision. On New Year's Eve, I had my moment. I was on the highway at around 1am when the police car behind me turned its lights on, and pulled me over. After realizing that I wasn't speeding, I felt a rush of exhilaration. Could they be pulling me over because they suspect me of being...drunk? I had just swerved, because I had to change songs on my iPhone-- (Don't judge.  I'm offering full disclosure here.) --maybe this was proof that had I been drinking earlier it would have been the wrong thing to do! The state trooper was very polite, and right away, got to the good stuff: Had I been drinking tonight? Rather than just say, "No, I haven't been....