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And What's On the Other Side, or 100 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me The Day I Came Out And All the Days Since

1.  It's going to get better, but first, it's going to get awkward. 2.  Your first priority should be finding yourself, not a boyfriend. 3.  They don't hate you, you're just hungry. 4.  If you think it's time to leave a bar, you should have left ten minutes ago. 5.  You are somebody's type just the way you are. 6.  Your actions are your character, your interests are your personality. 7.  That long distance relationship is not going to work. 8.  If he hates his body, you are not going to change his mind. 9.  I'm sure flies think spiderwebs are pretty right before they get too close. 10.  Never live with someone if your name's not on the lease. 11.  Despite what you're going to tell your girlfriends, he's not more mature just because he's older. 12.  Two dates in one night is a bad idea. 13.  Wait six months before you make a commitment. 14.  You don't have to like something just because somebody covered it in a rainbow and turned it into a
Recent posts

The Community and Self-Improvement

  Two years ago, I started interviewing people in the theater world about the problems within that community. All the subjects of the interviews remained anonymous to encourage people to speak directly and plainly without worrying that there would be consequences down the line. (Of course, even then, some people felt like outing themselves and getting in hot water, but we're going to leave that water under another bridge.) When I decided it was time to bring the series to a close, it was partly because I thought it had run its course, and partly because I had a new topic I wanted to tackle. While I've had my issues with theater and the people who do it, I've never felt like I didn't belong there, whereas from the moment I came out, I've never truly felt like a part of the gay community. To be clear, that probably has way more to do with me than the community, but it's something I wanted to explore, and I knew how I wanted to do it. The theater interviews were al

Pose Deserved Better

  Every year I write about my favorite movies and television shows. In 2018, my number one show of the year was Pose . This shocked even me since the very idea of giving Ryan Murphy flowers for anything might be the only sin I consider unforgivable. And yet, it was hard to deny the groundbreaking nature of a drama featuring trans actors playing trans characters and the balance it struck portraying a harrowing moment in LGBTQ history while still finding opportunities for its characters to experience love, joy, and family. Was it the best written show on television? Far from it. Murphy has a lot of great ideas and rarely manages to execute them. What he does understand is color scheme, music selection, and evoking emotion.  While that doesn't get you very far if you're trying to tell a horror story over the course of ten episodes with seemingly no forethought, you're going to run into trouble. But with history as a map, Murphy can sometimes pull off a miracle. He did it with

The Community and The Lost Boy

  Two years ago, I started interviewing people in the theater world about the problems within that community. All the subjects of the interviews remained anonymous to encourage people to speak directly and plainly without worrying that there would be consequences down the line. (Of course, even then, some people felt like outing themselves and getting in hot water, but we're going to leave that water under another bridge.) When I decided it was time to bring the series to a close, it was partly because I thought it had run its course, and partly because I had a new topic I wanted to tackle. While I've had my issues with theater and the people who do it, I've never felt like I didn't belong there, whereas from the moment I came out, I've never truly felt like a part of the gay community. To be clear, that probably has way more to do with me than the community, but it's something I wanted to explore, and I knew how I wanted to do it. The theater interviews were al

On "As Good As It Gets" and Why That Actor Should Be Gay

When I was thirteen, my parents took me to see My Best Friend's Wedding . In retrospect, it really wasn't the type of movie you should take a twelve-year-old too, but even at that young age, I worshipped at the altar of Julia Roberts, and so I asked if I could see it, and because it was PG-13 (RIP) and I was thirteen--off we went. Many people have made the argument that  My Best Friend's Wedding has not aged well, and while they're wrong, that's not the hill I'm here to die on today. I'm here to talk about Rupert Everett. In the history of cinematic scene-stealers, there should be an entire chapter devoted to Rupert Everett as George, a character who has barely any reason to exist and walks away with the entire film. More than that, he was playing a gay character, and, as best I can recall, he had a large role in me realizing that I was gay. I'm sure he wasn't the first gay person I'd seen in a movie or in real life, but something about his confi

An Interview with The Host

  Two years ago, I started interviewing people in the theater world about the problems within that community. All the subjects of the interviews remained anonymous to encourage people to speak directly and plainly without worrying that there would be consequences down the line. (Of course, even then, some people felt like outing themselves and getting in hot water, but we're going to leave that water under another bridge.) When I decided it was time to bring the series to a close, it was partly because I thought it had run its course, and partly because I had a new topic I wanted to tackle. While I've had my issues with theater and the people who do it, I've never felt like I didn't belong there, whereas from the moment I came out, I've never truly felt like a part of the gay community. To be clear, that probably has way more to do with me than the community, but it's something I wanted to explore, and I knew how I wanted to do it. The theater interviews were al

Let's Talk About Netflix

  For me, it was the cancellation of Glow . The show about women wrestlers in the 1980's was a fan favorite, an acclaimed piece of television that had been named the Best of the Year by Entertainment Weekly, and the kind of niche content that proved the necessity of streamers. And Netflix unceremoniously yanked it after a mere three seasons. Part of the reason was the pandemic, but let's not kid ourselves-- Netflix has billions of dollars at its disposal. They could have greenlit another season (or at least a wrap-up movie) fifty years after the pandemic and CGI-aged all the characters down if they wanted to. That's essentially what they did for Martin Scorsese and The Irishman . That termination was the beginning of many red flags that streamers may not be the cultural salvation we were all hoping they would be. Further concern was given to us by the streamers themselves, when they let loose such undeniably corporate flexes such as "We don't need to tell you how p