This Can't Be Broccoli

Something’s been bothering me about “Love, Simon.” Yes, “Love, Simon” the movie from last year that everybody liked--including me. Something has really been eating me up about it. How...early did all those students get up for school? For those of you who haven’t seen the film, Simon-- Okay, for the purposes of this piece of writing, all you need to know is that a significant portion of the movie is Simon waking up, eating a breakfast (or not eating it) made by his sister, picking up like three of his friends, all of them going through a drive-thru coffee place that is not Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks, and then going to school. Um… This might just be me, but… Was I the only high school student who literally got up five seconds before the bus came to get him for the first year of high school and then made his mom drive him for the following three years so he could get an extra twenty minutes of sleep? ...Okay so maybe it wasn’t that extreme for ALL of you, but first of all,

There are times in my life when I envy people who don’t have a Newsfeed full of theater friends. One of them is…anytime any musical is broadcast live on television. Oh boy, do things get toxic quickly. Now, before you jump down my throat, let me say this— I think it’s totally fair to have criticism of a production of any kind, especially one with the budget and resources most of these televised productions have. I was one of the people commenting on how it’s totally inexcusable not to have understudies for a show this big. (To be fair, I’m seeing statuses like “Why didn’t they just do it with Roger in a wheelchair?” and while those of us who’ve seen the show done a million times might have LOVED that, I think we’re grossly underestimating the imagination of most of the rest of America.   They don’t do these things for the Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet fan club, they’re doing them for closeted gay teens in Iowa who were born the same year Book of Mormon c

I have a favor to ask all you theater people.   Stop playing the game.   Okay, let me explain what I mean.   Ever since social media has convinced everyone that they have a brand, there’s been a particular habit amongst my theater friends that drives me absolutely nuts.   They’ve turned going to see theater and supporting other artists into a strategic maneuver.   A year ago, I posted a status saying “[Insert status complimenting a production at a theater I want to work at.]” People were…not thrilled.   Well, some people were.   Some people messaged me and said “Oh god, thank you for saying that.   It’s so transparent what those people are doing, especially when the production isn’t good, but the theater is otherwise reputable.” But some people took issue with me for calling people out on playing the game.   To be clear, I get that in every field, there’s a little bit of game-playing, and I get that it can actually be fun if you do it right, but

Here we are again. At the corner of Outraged and Befuddled, otherwise known as-- Oscar Nominations Day Let's just dive right in with the categories, and you know my rule--No saying somebody should have been nominated without saying who I would swap out in their place. I'm not going to focus too much on the Best Documentary category except to say that with Won't You Be My Neighbor?  and Three Identical Strangers  being left off, it's officially a joke this year.  RBG  was fantastic, but it wasn't as strong as the other two. Okay, now onto the big ones. Starting with-- Actor in a Supporting Role I like Mahershala Ali. I like him a lot. But the fact that he's the front-runner for the abomination that is Green Book is astounding to me. I'm glad Sam Elliott made it in over Timothee Chalamet, as he wasn't very believable in Beautiful Boy , and the movie overall was kind of a let-down. Michael B. Jordan could have re

Before you read this, you should know that I have never been a lifelong SNL hater. Far from it. I have very fond memories of watching SNL in high school, back when people who loved it in the 70’s were assuring the nation that it was utter garbage. Well, if the Will Farrell/Molly Shannon days were garbage, then I’m not sure what you would call what we have now. Unfortunately, the ratings are still stellar, and like it or not, SNL is an institution.   It’s our established go-to for satire in America, and so we have a duty to fix it. My idea? Clean house. Toss the entire cast out on the street—even the good ones—and pick a fresh batch of talent. What about Lorne? He’s got to go.   I appreciate all he’s done, but it’s a new time in America, and a cultural staple this important should not be presided over by a straight white guy. So here’s my list of who I would fire on SNL and why, starting with people I really don’t want to fire, and ending wit