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Straight Theater or Who Let the Straight Boys In?

About four years ago, I was in a show--a musical--and I heard three of my male cast mates discussing the play Angels in America.

MAN #1: No way would I do it, dude.
MAN #2: I'm with you, man. Kiss a boy onstage? No way.
MAN #3: Yeah, I couldn't do it either.

Now, I mention that it was a musical, because at the time I found it more than a little humorous that these guys had chosen to participate in one of the gayest traditions known to man--performing in a musical--and yet, seemed to have reservations about coming across as gay onstage.

To be honest, I can't say it really offended me as a gay man. I don't mind that straight guys don't want to kiss me. I don't want to kiss girls, but I wouldn't say I'm heterophobic.

It actually offended me more as an actor.

They were talking about Angels in America, one of the best plays ever written, and saying they wouldn't do it, given the chance, because they'd be uncomfortable with kissing a guy.

Now, there are a few possibilities here.

1) All three of them were genuinely homophobic, but again, I doubt it. This wasn't some community theater musical, and they weren't talked into doing it. They were all serious actors pursuing careers in the theater. And I have to believe that if you choose that course, you're at least okay with hanging around the gays.

2) They were trying to look macho to make up for the fact that they were all in ridiculously gay outfits. (We were doing a classical musical theater piece, which meant we all looked like a runway show put on by the only gay man in Toledo.)

3) They were the first time I was aware of a new wave of guys entering the theatrical arena--straight guys. More than that, fratboy straight guys who call girls "chicks," go to keg parties, and just happen to have a fondness for Arthur Miller.

Ladies and gentlemen, we've been invaded.

As I said, I was much more taken aback by what they said, because I feel as an actor, you should want to expand your horizons and play parts separate from your personal identity. You should hear me when I first read a character list in a play--

"Ooohhh, a demented Austrian trapped in a parallel universe! When's the audition?"

Lately, I feel like the world of writers and the world of actors is going in two different directions.

Most of the new plays getting produced on and off-Broadway now are written by gay authors or women--either way, most feature at least one gay character.

On the flip side of that, when I search regional theaters throughout the country, there seems to be an urge to do--Well, I'll just call it Fratboy Theater.

Not only do you never see gay characters represented, but there also seems to be a tendency to lean towards misogynistic pieces as well. What I find incredible about this is that most of these same theaters see themselves as being highly political.

I'm sorry, but Othello is so overdone, any political impact it has was beaten into the theatrical consciousness more than a century ago.

Let me exaggerate, if I may--

THIS SEASON AT THE FRATBOY PLAYHOUSE

WOMAN BE DAMNED -- A show about a guy who gets manipulated by a woman.

LADY, YOU'RE WRONG -- A classical piece where there are two roles for women, and one of them is the maid.

WAR, WAR, WAR -- A play about World War I, and how it's like Vietnam, which in turn is how it's like Iraq. Get it? Get it?

FUCK OFF, FUCKER -- A play about a bunch of people you might have to wait in line behind at the DMV, but not people you'd want to spend more than an hour watching onstage. Oh, and there's lots of unnecessary swearing. (Am I attacking Mamet? Fuck yeah, I'm attacking Mamet.)

A NEIL LABUTE PLAY -- Minor Kevin Broccoli Rant: Neil LaBute is a horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible writer. Don't believe me? Read that ridiculous Forest Play he wrote that I'm not even going to bother to look up the name of since reading it took away an hour of my life that I'll never get back. Oh! You can also watch In the Company of Men, where he's saying that he really isn't a misogynist because he writes about misogynists. Yeah, guess what? Nobody writes THAT well for misogynists unless they have a deep inner appreciation for mysgony itself. End of Rant.

Mr. Labute might actually be one of the pioneers of the Fratboy Wave.

Now, you may ask, why does this bother you so much, Kevin?

Well, here's the thing. If a Fratboy is sitting behind a table casting a show, what chance do you think I have of getting in it?

Even better, if a Fratboy is the one picking the shows in the first place, do you think I should even bother showing up?

It also means a lot of great playwrights aren't getting represented because the Fratboys don't think any play that has strong women or gay characters in it is worth doing. Either that, or they just don't want to have to act in them.

That means no Richard Greenberg, no Terrence McNally (Oh, except Frankie and Johnny, the one play with heteros, surprise surprise), no Wendy Wasserstein (Trust me, they're phasing her out), and a hell of a lot of angry Europeans who write plays where a lot of action happens and at the end the audience laughs and claps, and people like me go--

"Wait, what was the point of that?"

Usually, when people find out I do theater and kiss boys (usually not at the same time), they assume I stick to musicals. I have to put part of the blame for this on some of my gay colleagues--I once lied to one of my friends and told him that Nicky Silver was a new composer just so he'd read some of his plays.

"Hey!  I got all the way through Pterodactyls and there were no songs!"

Aside from that, I don't find it disconcerting that I get ruled out of entire canons just because I'm gay. Sam Shepard? Nope, you're gay.  Pinter?  Nope.  Beckett?  No way, kitten.

It's becoming a straight boys club out there, and the gays aren't helping.  A friend of mine in the Midwest was telling me that a theater he works out has recently become the stomping ground of one particularly attractive macho man who the gay Artistic Director just adores.

"He actually said to me, 'Can you believe it?  A real live straight boy!'"

I wonder what they call him.  Pinocchio?

Now the GAD is going out of his way to do plays that feature the little wooden boy.  And guess what that means?  My friend is stuck playing Villager #2 in A View from the Bridge, and the odds are good that they're not going to be doing The Man Who Came to Dinner anytime soon.

I love that the theater welcomes all types of people.  I just don't like that it then brings out the clique-iness in those same people once they feel comfortable somewhere.  In other words, as soon as they're in, they shut the door behind them, and that just doesn't seem right.

Perhaps I'm upset because I got into theater because I wasn't good at much else, especially not sports.  So hearing a play talked about in the same manner that someone would discuss a rugby game just puts me off.  Plays are sports--everybody's supposed to win.

And right now, it just seems like a lot of people are losing out.

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