What I Learned From College

The other day I was thinking about what I wish someone had told me before I started college, specifically as a theater major.

So I decided to write down everything I think I know now, in retrospect. This isn't necessarily advice--I know it would have helped me, but everyone has their own experience. The farther I move ahead, the more I can see when I look back.

Here's what I learned from college, so far:

1) I should never have used phrases like "I'm sure it'll be fine" or "Well, what are you going to do?" To me, theater seems like the last place to take an apathetic attitude. I feel that in many ways theater is about having an aggressive attitude towards creation and expression. I've never regretted the times I've been ambitious and gone after what I've wanted or spoken up when I felt something was wrong, but I do regret hanging in the background hoping something good would happen or keeping quiet when something unfair did happen. No, speaking up doesn't always change things. Yes, it can definitely get you put on a few blacklists, but at the end of the day, I was supposed to be learning to be an artist. Artists express themselves. There's nothing expressive about the phrase "I'm sure it'll be fine." Of course it'll be fine. Most things are fine, but I shouldn't have been shooting for "fine," I should have been shooting for "exceptional." If I did nothing else by opening my big mouth, I reminded myself that I had a voice and that I was in school to learn to use it. Theater isn't the cheerleading--the goal isn't to be popular; it's to stand out, and yes, occasionally aggravate people.

2) I should have had a better understanding of how much time I had--meaning not much at all. I can't tell you how many times I would think to myself 'Well, maybe next year I'll get a lead' or 'Maybe they'll offer that class again next year.' Pretty soon, you run out of 'next year's. You have to make everything count, and it has to count NOW. If you don't get a role, or the show your school is doing doesn't interest you, it's not the end of the world. It IS an opportunity for you to take yourself in another direction. I'm not saying give up your major or join a commune. So what am I saying? See #3.

3) I should have taken advantage of the fact that there was an entire world off-campus. Yes, it's easier to do shows at school. Yes, it's fun to do shows with friends and people you know. Yes, there's a much better chance everyone you know will come see you in a school show rather than an outside production where ticket costs are higher and a longer drive might be involved. All that aside, when you're not able to do a show at school, that's a great opportunity to get new theaters on your resume, to work with new directors, and to start making contacts. As a matter of fact, you may even reach the point where you're getting more opportunities to do things off-campus than on-campus. My opinion? You're in school to learn how to work in the theater--if you can get experience working in the theater before you're out of school, it seems logical that you should opt to work off-campus as much as you can. Some schools may not encourage that, but to me it's incredibly selfish not to want your students to get as much experience as possible just because you want to stock your school shows with as much talent as possible.

4) I should have thought of myself--FIRST. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I was selfless, because I was NEVER selfless. What I mean is that you're a commodity. You, yourself, are a commodity with value and you need to treat yourself as such. Don't rely on loyalty or what you feel people may owe you. People don't owe you anything. The flip side--and some might say, the nice side--of that is that you don't owe anyone anything either. In theater, we're taught to sacrifice everything to make whatever show we're working on as good as it can be. That means a lot of times friendships and promises can fall to the wayside. What I'm saying--and it isn't pleasant--is that it's not smart to count on those things. Count on your talent. Count on yourself. Count on being surprised--a lot. Don't align yourself with anyone except the person who's able to get you work. I often forgot that part--that I was in school learning about a profession, not just a passion. Work is what counts. It's fine to have friends, but don't let your friends cost you jobs. When I was in school, everyone was always conscious of not burning bridges. Just so we're clear, in order for a bridge to be a bridge--it actually has to LEAD somewhere. That being said, it is good to stay on good terms with people, but don't tangle yourself up with any polarizing figures--people might end up avoiding you to avoid them. Keep that in mind.

5) I should have realized that my professors weren't perfect. I assumed they believed everything they said and that if I did everything they told me to do, I'd be golden. This doesn't mean that I think they lied to me--I just think that most people believe one thing and believe they believe something else entirely. (Does that make sense? Probably not.) It's important to listen to your professors, but I wish I had taken more of their lessons with a grain of salt. Because--

6) There really aren't any rules in theater. I drove myself crazy following all the rules I thought would land me a role in an audition. I wish I had realized that most of the time whether or not you get a role has very little to do with anything you have control over. I feel that sometimes professors don't like to say that, because if that's true, what's the point in having an auditioning class. Don't get me wrong--I'm a much better at auditioning now because of what I learned in college, but only in terms of appearance and professional. If I go out for a role and the director's looking for a 6'0 jock type, all the professionalism in the world isn't getting me that role--but hey, maybe I'd get it anyway. Again, there are no rules.

7) I should have laughed a lot more. This one speaks for itself.

8) I should have learned to play to my strengths before I started working on my weaknesses. It's amazing how many of us want to be something we're not. I think it's admirable that so many people want to stretch themselves, but stretching yourself doesn't mean denying the talents you already have. I always thought I knew how to do comedy, so I always went after dramatic roles, because I thought--'Comedy? Oh, I got that. I don't need to learn anymore about that.' Looking back, all I can think is--Wow, I actually thought I had mastered half the dramatic arts by the time I was nineteen. Ain't that somethin'? All skills are the same--even when you're adept at them, you have to keep them in good shape. In terms of working or getting roles, if you find yourself getting typecast, remind yourself that you're still getting something when many people aren't. Opportunities will come for you to expand people's perceptions of you, but in the meantime, you need to keep yourself in rotation.

9) I should have seen more theater. Yes, it can be expensive--but the one thing I always tend to notice about college students is that they have money to get drunk, but never enough to expand their education. Seeing theater when you're a theater major is as important as reading books when you're an English major--it's beyond important; it's essential. Even shows you think you might not like you should see anyway. Those are the shows I usually learned the most from, because they took me out of my comfort zone. If they were bad productions, I learned even more. As for the great productions--Well, in those cases I got to see really great theater. See? It's a win-win all around. In hindsight, I still could have seen way more than I did. I didn't discover all the terrific theaters in Boston until I was out of college. Being from Rhode Island is actually a gift in that respect. There are so many great theaters all within an hour's drive. It's crazy to not take advantage of that.

10) I should have and could have done more. I whined too much. I limited myself. One person would say 'No' to something, and I would stop what I was doing and assume what I was trying to accomplish was impossible.

(Sidenote: One of my favorite quotes of all time is--"Don't take a 'No' from someone who didn't have the power to give you a 'Yes' to begin with.")

So many people ARE willing to help, and you usually don't need that many 'Yes's to create something really spectacular. The first time I ever produced a show, I was blown away by how much support I received. Up until then, I never realized how UNsupportive I had been of other people. Someone would succeed at something or try to get a project off the ground and I would sneer at them because I was being petty and jealous and mad that I wasn't the one getting attention. What I should have done was offer to help. Support creates support. Jealously creates nothing.

Overall, the moral's this: I'm responsible. For myself. For my education. For my memories. For my experiences. All me--all on me. I could hem and haw about this person or that person, but ultimately I was in the driver's seat, so I'm responsible for where I ended up.

But man, I really could have used this list.