As part of my journey to become a better person, I've decided to forgive a few people who have wronged me in the past.
Many of them will, of course, not know that I'm forgiving them, but forgiveness isn't about them, it's about me. Most of them are selfish anyway, so why bother lightening their burdens?
Anyway, let's begin:
- I forgive my third grade music teacher Mrs. Berger for taking away my solo in "Bambi" because I couldn't sing above the piano. Actually, I should thank her, because though I am still not a good singer, I am the loudest not-so-good singer you've ever heard.
- I forgive my mother for not letting me take piano lessons. I understand now that she wanted me to cultivate hobbies that would stick with me--which explains how I wound up involved with soccer and karate. Now where did I leave that black belt?
- I forgive the high school drama teacher who gave me Grumio in 'The Taming of the Shrew' even though, to this day, it was the worst theatrical experience of my life. To this day I have 'Saving Private Ryan'-type flashbacks about that play. If I even HEAR 'Kiss Me, Kate' I start to shake and foam at the mouth.
...But I'm not bitter.
- I forgive the seventeen-year-old kid who stole my car, because that was a few years ago, and time heals all wounds. Also, he's now old enough to be put into real jail for his crimes, of which I'm sure there are many. May he have an understanding and confidently heterosexual cellmate who doesn't miss his girlfriend at all.
- I forgive Saved by the Bell for making me think that I went to the lamest high school ever because we didn't have The Max or dance contests with Casey Kasem.
- I forgive Kanye--you were right. You were sooo right.
- I forgive my Dad for not letting me go to my cub scout Halloween party when the only costume he could come up with was a hobo. I know it must be difficult to find your son a Truman Capote costume with only a week's notice.
- I forgive everyone who has ever made me wake up before 9am for any reason. Whether or not God forgives them is not for me to say.
Lastly, I forgive myself for giving myself such a hard time about being the amazing person that is myself. I now embrace and love myself and am cleansed of all past regrets and mistakes.
Phew, I feel better already.
Many of them will, of course, not know that I'm forgiving them, but forgiveness isn't about them, it's about me. Most of them are selfish anyway, so why bother lightening their burdens?
Anyway, let's begin:
- I forgive my third grade music teacher Mrs. Berger for taking away my solo in "Bambi" because I couldn't sing above the piano. Actually, I should thank her, because though I am still not a good singer, I am the loudest not-so-good singer you've ever heard.
- I forgive my mother for not letting me take piano lessons. I understand now that she wanted me to cultivate hobbies that would stick with me--which explains how I wound up involved with soccer and karate. Now where did I leave that black belt?
- I forgive the high school drama teacher who gave me Grumio in 'The Taming of the Shrew' even though, to this day, it was the worst theatrical experience of my life. To this day I have 'Saving Private Ryan'-type flashbacks about that play. If I even HEAR 'Kiss Me, Kate' I start to shake and foam at the mouth.
...But I'm not bitter.
- I forgive the seventeen-year-old kid who stole my car, because that was a few years ago, and time heals all wounds. Also, he's now old enough to be put into real jail for his crimes, of which I'm sure there are many. May he have an understanding and confidently heterosexual cellmate who doesn't miss his girlfriend at all.
- I forgive Saved by the Bell for making me think that I went to the lamest high school ever because we didn't have The Max or dance contests with Casey Kasem.
- I forgive Kanye--you were right. You were sooo right.
- I forgive my Dad for not letting me go to my cub scout Halloween party when the only costume he could come up with was a hobo. I know it must be difficult to find your son a Truman Capote costume with only a week's notice.
- I forgive everyone who has ever made me wake up before 9am for any reason. Whether or not God forgives them is not for me to say.
Lastly, I forgive myself for giving myself such a hard time about being the amazing person that is myself. I now embrace and love myself and am cleansed of all past regrets and mistakes.
Phew, I feel better already.
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