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Top Ten Hidden Features on the Ipad

The ipad is making news all over the place, but there are some features that even the savviest techies aren't aware of yet.

Here are the top ten hidden tricks your ipad has hiding up its sleeve:

10) At the push of a button, Barbara Eden will read your e-mail to you.

9) There's an app that tells you when your wife stops loving you.

8) An alarm goes off whenever ninjas are about to attack you.

7) With a special mail-in rebate, you can get the entire first season of 'L.A. Law.'

6) There's an attachment that allows the ipad to give you a liposuction.

5) Instead of suggesting restaurants you may want to eat in, it'll just drive you there and tell you what to order before taking you back to its docking pad and having its way with you. (Oh come on, like you weren't asking for it.)

4) You know those annoying photos people take of themselves while posing in front of their bathroom mirrors? Now you can make those photos LIFE-SIZE!

3) Point it at someone you want to date, and it'll tell you how out of your league they are on a scale from 'No' to 'Hahaha--thanks, I needed that.'

2) It can babysit your kids by hypnotizing them into believing they're furniture.

1) If you hit yourself over the head with it just right, you'll forget how much it cost you.

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