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If My Car Could Tweet

Engineers have finally done it.

They've finally found a new invention that is equal parts creepy and unnecessary.

Cars can now tweet.

There is a new device in cars that allows the car to update a twitter account saying things like--

"Cathy is stuck in traffic"

and

"Jim is on Main Street."

Welcome to 1984 everyone. I used to mock people who consider today's society Orwellian, but now I gotta hand it to them--we've driven into Big Brother Town in a tweeting car.

It got me thinking though--

What would my car tweet?

"I desperately need an oil change. Seriously, Kevin."

"Someone hit a pothole and now my left front tire is low. Thanks, Kev."

"Yeah, go ahead, pretend my brakes are fine. Denial's lovely this time of year."

"I smell like potato chips. Was someone eating potato chips in me? Gross."

"Can you pleeeeeease turn off the Oldies station? If I hear 'Brandy You're a Fine Girl' one more time..."

"This shortcut isn't really a shortcut. It just feels like one because there aren't any lights on this road. Just sayin'"

"My back seat looks like s**t."

"Did I just run over a squirrel? Seriously, kill me."

Let's hope my car doesn't end up following me on Twitter.

Honestly, I'd rather not know.

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