I have a friend who isn't online.
"I'm not online!" she proudly declares, quite often.
She gets patted on the back for it by just about everyone. After all, who doesn't want to celebrate a person who has resisted technology?
Still, I've been getting the feeling that there are ulterior motives for why she has decided to forgo joining the rest of civilization.
I think it's because it allows her to behave badly.
Allow me to explain.
Every time my friend forgets a birthday, she blames the fact that she's not online.
"Oh, it was your birthday? I'm sorry. I'm not on Facebook or anything."
Inevitably, the person she's slighted says, "Ohhh, okay. No big deal then."
The instant forgiveness comes because Facebook is the way most of know about anything anymore, including birthdays.
What people seem to forget is that it was expected that you remember the birthdays of your friends and family BEFORE Facebook existed.
"I never know about stuff because I'm not online. Sorry!"
This has become the reason my friend has missed parties, meetings, and a variety of other events that people would have liked to have her attend.
She is impossible to reach at all times, and yet, when it's something that would actually benefit her, she seems to find out about it.
"Hey, how did you know there was a free sneak preview of this movie tonight?"
"Oh, um, just heard about it somewhere..."
She's figured out what a lot of us haven't"
You don't need to be online to stay in the loop, because everybody else is.
It's not too hard to figure out a parade route when everybody is in town is already in the parade.
So now, she has the best of both worlds. She's managed to avoid any responsibility in regards to being a good friend, while at the same time, benefiting from any advantageous information she might receive by actually being online just from knowing so many other people who are.
And what's her reason for bucking the Internet?
"I just think it's weird."
Now, I have heard many, many good reasons for staying offline. None of them have worked in terms of keeping me away from my computer, but still, I don't dispute that they are valid.
Just thinking it's "weird" isn't one of them.
Only recently have my friends and I begun to talk about this, and how we should handle it. We certainly don't want to force her to go online, nor could we, but how can we criticize her for not knowing things that we only know because we're online? Should we just tell her that if she's not online, she just has to work harder to be a better friend?
She still has e-mail. She still has a cell phone. It's not like she's anti-progress. She's just anti-being considerate.
Still, we're all worried about calling her out on this.
Even as I'm typing these very words, I'm worried about her seeing it.
...Then I remember...
She never will.
So I guess there's an upside to all this, after all.
"I'm not online!" she proudly declares, quite often.
She gets patted on the back for it by just about everyone. After all, who doesn't want to celebrate a person who has resisted technology?
Still, I've been getting the feeling that there are ulterior motives for why she has decided to forgo joining the rest of civilization.
I think it's because it allows her to behave badly.
Allow me to explain.
Every time my friend forgets a birthday, she blames the fact that she's not online.
"Oh, it was your birthday? I'm sorry. I'm not on Facebook or anything."
Inevitably, the person she's slighted says, "Ohhh, okay. No big deal then."
The instant forgiveness comes because Facebook is the way most of know about anything anymore, including birthdays.
What people seem to forget is that it was expected that you remember the birthdays of your friends and family BEFORE Facebook existed.
"I never know about stuff because I'm not online. Sorry!"
This has become the reason my friend has missed parties, meetings, and a variety of other events that people would have liked to have her attend.
She is impossible to reach at all times, and yet, when it's something that would actually benefit her, she seems to find out about it.
"Hey, how did you know there was a free sneak preview of this movie tonight?"
"Oh, um, just heard about it somewhere..."
She's figured out what a lot of us haven't"
You don't need to be online to stay in the loop, because everybody else is.
It's not too hard to figure out a parade route when everybody is in town is already in the parade.
So now, she has the best of both worlds. She's managed to avoid any responsibility in regards to being a good friend, while at the same time, benefiting from any advantageous information she might receive by actually being online just from knowing so many other people who are.
And what's her reason for bucking the Internet?
"I just think it's weird."
Now, I have heard many, many good reasons for staying offline. None of them have worked in terms of keeping me away from my computer, but still, I don't dispute that they are valid.
Just thinking it's "weird" isn't one of them.
Only recently have my friends and I begun to talk about this, and how we should handle it. We certainly don't want to force her to go online, nor could we, but how can we criticize her for not knowing things that we only know because we're online? Should we just tell her that if she's not online, she just has to work harder to be a better friend?
She still has e-mail. She still has a cell phone. It's not like she's anti-progress. She's just anti-being considerate.
Still, we're all worried about calling her out on this.
Even as I'm typing these very words, I'm worried about her seeing it.
...Then I remember...
She never will.
So I guess there's an upside to all this, after all.
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