The Way They Speak

There's a quality in men that I look for, and yet, I feel weird looking for it.

It's all about the way they speak.

Let me explain:

If a guy isn't well-spoken, I tend to lose interest in him. My attraction level will go down, down, down. I'll start looking for a way to escape whatever coffee date or conversation I'm in.

It makes me feel a little like...a snob.

After all, intelligent people aren't always well-spoken, and what is intelligence anyway? It becomes a very philosophical argument.

And yet, as soon as I tell someone I'm a librarian and they say--"That's awesome! I love li-berries! I'm, like, a wicked big readuh." I find myself inching away slowly.

I admit, it's an odd thing to have qualms with, since I'm from Rhode Island, and since a lot of people here have accents.

Plus, there are some accents that I actually like. I can't do a Rhode Island accent because, to me, it sounds like a watered down Boston accent, and yet, I find a Boston accent incredibly attractive. I love guys with cockney accents--you know, like Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady.

So basically, I like guys who sound unintelligent as long as they're from somewhere other than where I'm from?

What is that about?

I've been single for almost a year now, and after being in a three-year relationship, it surprises me to find out all the things I seem to be looking for, and how important each of them is on this scale I use to determine who I like and don't like.

Kissing is way more important than I initially thought.
Smoking is way more of a turn-off that it was three years ago.
Laughter is a must--and I'm a hard person to make laugh.

And as soon as someone opens their mouth, I brace myself.

I'm not sure what it is I'm hoping for.

If I'm being honest, I love guys with deep voices, but then I feel like that plays into the whole masculine/feminine preferences gay guys have, and I hate that. Plus, it's not a deal breaker if a guy has a higher voice. I have a high voice, after all. Then again, so much of dating is hypocritical.

I love guys with bear guts who say they're looking for muscular guys, or guys over forty who say their age cut-off is twenty three.

I like to emulate what it is I'm looking for, but the thought of dating someone like me scares the hell out of me.

But at least I can say this--I'm fairly well-spoken.

...If you don't count the rambling, ranting, stumbling, and stuttering.

I wonder how many guys have heard me talk, and thought--

This guy's not for me.