Before I begin this post, I want to impart the following information to anybody reading this:
I am a Democrat. I am as Democrat as they come. I'm a tree-hugging, pro-choice, pro-gay, bleeding heart liberal.
And this is going to be about Chris Christie and the George Washington Bridge scandal.
Now, I should probably tell you that I'm not going to rehash the details of the scandal. For that, you can go to CNN or MSNBC or pretty much anywhere but Fox News where they're still talking about Obamacare and how it's going to make the Devil rise up out of Hell and make love to Janet Reno in front of the whole world--or something.
I'm going to write as honestly about politics as I possibly can. Now, these are just my opinions, but because they're mine, they're only somewhat based on facts and they're 100% right.
This whole scandal is to make sure Chris Christie doesn't run for President.
Now, do I think he's guilty of being involve with the shutting down of the bridge? Maybe? Probably? Who knows. But that's not why people (Democrats) are seizing this thing like a drowning man grabs a life preserver.
Let's face it--The Bridge Shutdown was stupid, disruptive, and yes, even dangerous--but it's not what Democrats are making it out to be, which is Armageddon-meets-the-Burning-of-an-Orphanage-Located-Inside-a-Pet-Store-That-Only-Sells-Puppies.
We--and I'm using "we" because, yes, I also feel this way--do not want Chris Christie running for President. Because why?
Because he could win--that's why.
Up until now, 2016 has seemed to be a pretty done deal. Hillary is going to run, and she's going to run against...who?
Marco Rubio? It'd be a bloodbath.
Rand Paul? Bloodbath with plagiarism.
Ted Cruz? Repeat after me: He's. From. Canada.
So she's got it, right? We're guaranteed our first woman President and a Clinton will be back in the White House and all will be right with the world.
People will get so excited to vote for Hillary that there will be a record Democratic turn-out and we'll probably have a blow-out year, and forget all that nonsense about Elizabeth Warren running--she'll get her time, but her time is not 2016 and everybody knows it.
But then Chris Christie went and won New Jersey in a landslide victory. He's bipartisan. He's the most well-liked politician in the country even above Hillary.
And that means one thing--
He has to be stopped.
Now, to be clear, do I vote strictly along party lines? You're absolutely fucking right I do. And so does every other person in this country except the Undecided Voters who I refer to as "Pussies."
This is a divided country, and whether we all like that or not, it ain't changing anytime soon, so you pick a side, and you set out to win.
So I want Chris Christie out of the picture. He's a dangerous guy. Not just because he's anti-gay marriage, refuses to stand up to the gun industries, and is way more Conservative then he comes across in public, but because he can do something very few other politicians can do:
He can talk in such a way where you believe what he's saying, and he doesn't sugarcoat things, which makes him seem refreshing.
Trouble. Big fucking trouble.
Do I feel guilty admitting that I'm this cynical and petty?
One Word: Benghazi.
Now, I'm not saying the death of innocent people is the equivalent of a traffic pile-up, but what I am saying is that if there had been a terrorist attack in New York City the week of the traffic pile-up, we'd be talking about this scandal in a very different way, and even Fox News wouldn't be able to brush this aside so easily.
That being said, Benghazi was a way for Conservatives to get to Hillary and now this is the Democrats way of getting to Christie, even though there's a very good chance Hillary shouldn't be blamed for Benghazi and a very slim chance that Christie knew nothing about the conspiracy to screw over Fort Lee, New Jersey.
It doesn't matter. What matters is that people on both sides know that the way you win elections is by making the other side look bad--to who?
To the Pussies.
So the Pussies may be swayed into thinking that Hillary should be blamed for Benghazi or they may be more swayed by evidence against Christie.
In the actual world, these are horrible, real-life events that affect real people and are no laughing matter.
In the game of politics, these are chips. Tokens. They add up until they form a pile too big to be ignored by--say it with me--The Pussies.
And that's when someone loses an election, or resigns, or decides not to run for President.
Admittedly, Christie is in a tougher spot than Hillary. He has to stay in the limelight for the next two years running New Jersey while Hillary gets to pop in and out of the public eye when she feels like it--meaning, Christie has more opportunities to commit fresh screw-ups whereas Hillary only has her old ones counting against her--Granted, there are many.
I don't think Christie will resign. People don't resign anymore. Rob Ford isn't resigning--yet. Bob McDonell didn't resign. Nobody resigns. Because ultimately, the party and the citizens who belong to that party that elected you--they don't care.
Do I care about Benghazi? As a human being? Yes.
As a Democrat? Not at all.
At least, not in a way that would make me forsake Hillary. For that, she'd have to set me on fire and push me off a cliff. Because it's her or a Republican in the White House, and for me to choose the latter, the kerosene cap would have to be popped.
Do I think Republicans are going to care about the Bridge Scandal?
Let me laugh for five minutes and then get back to you about that.
No matter what happens, Christie isn't going anywhere, and he'll probably, at the very least, enter the cutthroat world of the Republican primary even if he's implicated in this scandal.
If Republicans are being honest with themselves, they would probably love it if Christie did actually shut down that bridge as political retribution. They'd think "Serves the Democratic town of Fort Lee right." An e-mail between two of the conspirators called the citizens of the town "Buono voters." That's how people who are truly into politics think. They like that Christie is a bulldog, a soldier, a bully. Hell, I'm a Democrat and even I like it. If anything, I wish the President had a little bit more Chris Christie in him.
The point is, none of it matters. We're in a new era of politics. If Watergate happened now, Nixon would not only have stuck around, his approval ratings would have probably gone up. People love when politicians they voted for screw up, it means they're human.
I believe Hillary knows something about that.
I am a Democrat. I am as Democrat as they come. I'm a tree-hugging, pro-choice, pro-gay, bleeding heart liberal.
And this is going to be about Chris Christie and the George Washington Bridge scandal.
Now, I should probably tell you that I'm not going to rehash the details of the scandal. For that, you can go to CNN or MSNBC or pretty much anywhere but Fox News where they're still talking about Obamacare and how it's going to make the Devil rise up out of Hell and make love to Janet Reno in front of the whole world--or something.
I'm going to write as honestly about politics as I possibly can. Now, these are just my opinions, but because they're mine, they're only somewhat based on facts and they're 100% right.
This whole scandal is to make sure Chris Christie doesn't run for President.
Now, do I think he's guilty of being involve with the shutting down of the bridge? Maybe? Probably? Who knows. But that's not why people (Democrats) are seizing this thing like a drowning man grabs a life preserver.
Let's face it--The Bridge Shutdown was stupid, disruptive, and yes, even dangerous--but it's not what Democrats are making it out to be, which is Armageddon-meets-the-Burning-of-an-Orphanage-Located-Inside-a-Pet-Store-That-Only-Sells-Puppies.
We--and I'm using "we" because, yes, I also feel this way--do not want Chris Christie running for President. Because why?
Because he could win--that's why.
Up until now, 2016 has seemed to be a pretty done deal. Hillary is going to run, and she's going to run against...who?
Marco Rubio? It'd be a bloodbath.
Rand Paul? Bloodbath with plagiarism.
Ted Cruz? Repeat after me: He's. From. Canada.
So she's got it, right? We're guaranteed our first woman President and a Clinton will be back in the White House and all will be right with the world.
People will get so excited to vote for Hillary that there will be a record Democratic turn-out and we'll probably have a blow-out year, and forget all that nonsense about Elizabeth Warren running--she'll get her time, but her time is not 2016 and everybody knows it.
But then Chris Christie went and won New Jersey in a landslide victory. He's bipartisan. He's the most well-liked politician in the country even above Hillary.
And that means one thing--
He has to be stopped.
Now, to be clear, do I vote strictly along party lines? You're absolutely fucking right I do. And so does every other person in this country except the Undecided Voters who I refer to as "Pussies."
This is a divided country, and whether we all like that or not, it ain't changing anytime soon, so you pick a side, and you set out to win.
So I want Chris Christie out of the picture. He's a dangerous guy. Not just because he's anti-gay marriage, refuses to stand up to the gun industries, and is way more Conservative then he comes across in public, but because he can do something very few other politicians can do:
He can talk in such a way where you believe what he's saying, and he doesn't sugarcoat things, which makes him seem refreshing.
Trouble. Big fucking trouble.
Do I feel guilty admitting that I'm this cynical and petty?
One Word: Benghazi.
Now, I'm not saying the death of innocent people is the equivalent of a traffic pile-up, but what I am saying is that if there had been a terrorist attack in New York City the week of the traffic pile-up, we'd be talking about this scandal in a very different way, and even Fox News wouldn't be able to brush this aside so easily.
That being said, Benghazi was a way for Conservatives to get to Hillary and now this is the Democrats way of getting to Christie, even though there's a very good chance Hillary shouldn't be blamed for Benghazi and a very slim chance that Christie knew nothing about the conspiracy to screw over Fort Lee, New Jersey.
It doesn't matter. What matters is that people on both sides know that the way you win elections is by making the other side look bad--to who?
To the Pussies.
So the Pussies may be swayed into thinking that Hillary should be blamed for Benghazi or they may be more swayed by evidence against Christie.
In the actual world, these are horrible, real-life events that affect real people and are no laughing matter.
In the game of politics, these are chips. Tokens. They add up until they form a pile too big to be ignored by--say it with me--The Pussies.
And that's when someone loses an election, or resigns, or decides not to run for President.
Admittedly, Christie is in a tougher spot than Hillary. He has to stay in the limelight for the next two years running New Jersey while Hillary gets to pop in and out of the public eye when she feels like it--meaning, Christie has more opportunities to commit fresh screw-ups whereas Hillary only has her old ones counting against her--Granted, there are many.
I don't think Christie will resign. People don't resign anymore. Rob Ford isn't resigning--yet. Bob McDonell didn't resign. Nobody resigns. Because ultimately, the party and the citizens who belong to that party that elected you--they don't care.
Do I care about Benghazi? As a human being? Yes.
As a Democrat? Not at all.
At least, not in a way that would make me forsake Hillary. For that, she'd have to set me on fire and push me off a cliff. Because it's her or a Republican in the White House, and for me to choose the latter, the kerosene cap would have to be popped.
Do I think Republicans are going to care about the Bridge Scandal?
Let me laugh for five minutes and then get back to you about that.
No matter what happens, Christie isn't going anywhere, and he'll probably, at the very least, enter the cutthroat world of the Republican primary even if he's implicated in this scandal.
If Republicans are being honest with themselves, they would probably love it if Christie did actually shut down that bridge as political retribution. They'd think "Serves the Democratic town of Fort Lee right." An e-mail between two of the conspirators called the citizens of the town "Buono voters." That's how people who are truly into politics think. They like that Christie is a bulldog, a soldier, a bully. Hell, I'm a Democrat and even I like it. If anything, I wish the President had a little bit more Chris Christie in him.
The point is, none of it matters. We're in a new era of politics. If Watergate happened now, Nixon would not only have stuck around, his approval ratings would have probably gone up. People love when politicians they voted for screw up, it means they're human.
I believe Hillary knows something about that.
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